Joy TIMES Five

MOVING.....

2011-03-26T12:16:00.000-06:00

To all of my faithful followers....

I wanted to announce to you personally that after much prayer and hard work I have upgraded and redesigned my blog. I will no longer be posting to this address with new writing. But, I would LOVE for you to follow me at my new home.... with a new address:

http://www.joytimesfive.com/

In the transition I did lose all of my Google friend connect and networked blogs followers..... so, I would LOVE it a lot if you would head over to the new place and add your name to my lists again. This way, I can keep you up to date with all of the latest and greatest happenings.

Love all of YOU for your never failing love and support for my passion.

Blessings to each and everyone of you as we walk together in HIM!

Seeking HIM Amongst the Rubble....

2011-03-15T20:18:00.001-06:00

I awake in the early morning hours. Darkness still filling the land. A glimpse of daylight peeking through on the horizon.

And....she sleeps. Her slumber deep. Stirring little as I gently touch my hand to her head. Radiating warmth. A body on fire. I watch. Her. Peaceful. Inhale life. And.... I see GRACE. Her sweet face... full of AMAZING Grace.

Dog barks. Child stirs. And yet another complains. Droans from sleep interrupted... and daybreak falls.

Shoes and socks and tooth brushes. Backpacks, breakfast and lunches. Myself... transported rapidly from a place of tranquil stillness to overhwhelming chaos. Reality overtaking my very being.

I grumble. I complain.

He doesn't help enough.
They don't ever pick up after themselves.
I despise doing laundry.
Why oh why is it so hard to let the dog out?

Maybe...

I should just..

GO ON STRIKE.

Negative thoughts mounting... my mind reeling.

The t.v. flashes. A mere background noise. But, for a single moment... my mind is trapped. Fixated on pictures. Devestation. Life. Crumbling.

People cry. They mourn. Embrace each other.

And still.... Even still... in THIS hard place. This place of vast unknowns. HE is there. Among them. With them. HIS GRACE... enough to carry... even THIS broken nation.

And yet I complain. Express my shere dissatisfaction with the mundane everyday of THIS life....

I cannot help but pause. To BE STILL and become awake to HIS presence.... to bring myself present into HIS presence.

This husband I complain of.... he came home last night after a long days work. While on the other side of the globe.... a wife grieves for her husband. Missing. Feared dead.

I look around me at the mess... from children at play. Alive with all the fullness of HIS GRACE. And I think of the mother who longs to just hold her child one last time. Her child now buried among the rubble. In a country stricken with devastation.

The daunting task of laundry clouds my conscience.

Clothes.
Sheets.
Towels.

All gifts from HIM. My Creator. Providing warmth for my naked skin. Yet somewhere today... someone goes without. Longing merely for a strip... of anything to cover their bare back. Some have lost little... while others have lost it all.

From a distance I hear him bark again. And I remember.... oh yes, he longs to run and be free. Making way toward his kennel... I realize there are many who would beg for this opportunity to merely claim the task set before me. To give love.... and to be loved.

And oh how these eyes become open. While HE molds my heart. Softening it so I can see clearly the blessings before me. The very things.... I take for granted. Daily. Things that others would gladly embrace... and call their own.

And oh my heart aches... for a people... devestated by the destruction that faces their land.

I take up my pen and I list them. Number them. All THESE things. Mundane. Among the 1000 and more. And as I set my writing aside. I whisper a quiet prayer.... to a LIVING GOD...

"Have MERCY..."

***The winner of Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts is Katey Kautz. Please contact me with your information so I can get this off to you.... Thank YOU to all who participated!****

The WALK of LIFE.....

2011-03-10T17:08:00.000-07:00

I paused for a moment along side the road.

I realized quickly...
I still had far to go.

The path before me
straight for today...

Curves and bends
up ahead a way.

In a glance I saw Him
standing there

The sun on my shoulders
the wind in my hair.

With a reach of His hand
I heard him say...
"Walk with me child.... I'm going your way."

"Worry no more...
I have been here before."

Consumed with His peace
I inhale LIFE...
and exhale
GRATITUDE.

Whispering sweet melodies of many many thanks.

I stretched out my hand
and
placed it in His.

Together we will tarry....
down the path set before.

From the mountaintops we sing praises...
while
in the valley
we pray.

My Savior beside me each step along the way.

Through the smiles and the tears...
He captures and holds randsom
all of my fears.

I am blessed to walk free...
with Him by my side....
from the pain and the hurt
that
wretches inside.

My heart feels full as I look around..
To realize
the JOY that I have found...

A life of fulfillment
lies just around the bend...

As I walk toward my goals
holding my Saviors hand.

The ART of Lent....

2011-03-09T21:58:00.000-07:00

I have heard it said so often.... In talking about LENT. These 40 days.... a spritual journey. An individualized opportunity to reflect upon WHO we are and WHOSE we are.

"What are you giving up?"

And my heart skips a beat.

The act itself, a sacrifice. A physical reminder to us... the christian community, of the very sacrifice that was given for us.

And despite how hard I try.... I cannot wrap my head around the concept.

Not because I myself do not need a reminder... but because I think deeper on one thing.

During these 40 days... Days of solitude and reflection. Days of spiritual growth. The preparation before the celebration...

Am I called to "give up"?
OR
Am I called to simply GIVE?
Sacrificially.

To LOVE... As Christ did.
HIS love for me.... without condition. No strings attached.

Simple LOVE.
Unconditional.

During this lenten season....
Am I called to move out of my comfort zone...
and
into HIS?

To lay myself vulnerable?
Bare.
Foresaking none other.
To GIVE beyond the measure of my own comprehensible comfort.

To bless others....an act of sacrifice.
The way HE blesses us...
with HIS son.

HIS Love... the ultimate sacrifice.
HIS Sacrifice.... my ultimate gift.

And darkness falls on this first night of our Lenten journey.

I hear him whisper to me....

"You are dust.... and to dust you shall return."

Tardys, Tears, Traffic Tickets and..... A GIVEAWAY!

2011-03-06T17:19:00.001-07:00

We were late getting there. Class started at 5:30 and glancing at the clock I could clearly read the numbers spelled out in front of me. 5:36. She still had to get her skates on. A definate reassurance that I would NOT be getting the mother of the year award anytime soon.

We left home on time.... even planned on a few minutes to spare.

She got on the ice... befuddled by the chaos of it all. A sympathetic look from an instructor with a heart well tuned.... was all it took for her to break. And, the tears began to flow.

Our first meeting.... the instuctor and I. Most certainly not the way I would have planned it to be. My child crying. Me, an emotional mess. The secret of the ticket in my hand now public knowledge for anyone who was capable of hearing.

As we exited the rink she shared with me her praise of my child's skills. I smiled as I listened knowing full well that my emotions were not in check. I was physically present for the exchange but my mind was not in attendance.

As the weeks passed we would talk in passing... mainly about this kid of mine but occassionally a personal note would be interjected. She was always professional. I was always curious. There was something about her. She was different. She stood out. Left her mark.

The 6 week session was drawing to a close when I approached her about private lessons. In her usual professional way, she handed me her business card and casually walked off.

She started lessons and their bond began to form. A skater and her coach. Our verbal exchanges continued... a bit more in depth and a teensy bit more personal. The basis however.... still ice skating and my child.

My curiousity was about to peak. It was the kind that almost always kills the cat. THERE. WAS. DEFINATELY. SOMETHING. DIFFERENT. ABOUT. HER. She stood out amongst her peers.

Eleven months have passed since our first uncomfortable meeting.... over tears and a traffic ticket. This coaches bond with my skater interwoven into the very fabric that shapes her character. Through laughter and tears she encourages this child of mine to be all that she can be. To set goals and make them happen. To stop short of nothing. To conquor her dreams.

And, in quiet moments outside of the rink.... This coach has become my friend. Encouraging me to be all that I am called to be. To love my God with a passion that burns. To walk boldy in my faith.

I watch out my window as the seasons change before my eyes. A transformation of old giving way to new. And, life springs forth in vibrant color.

A season of change for me as well.

Several months ago, this coach friend of mine approached me with an invitation to attend a spritual weekend retreat. She shared with me her personal experience of attending the same weekend event years ago. Her words reflected a passion like none other. For her faith and for a God who passionately pursues her.

After prayerful consideration I have made the personal choice to attend a WALK TO EMMAUS weekend. She will be my sponsor for this weekend where I will have the opportunity to experience the grace of God at a deeper level. A time for spritual renewal and growth.

I am so blessed by the gift of her friendship and thankful for tardys, tears and traffic tickets. THESE things.... a part of the story. HIS divine story. Humbled by the role that I play. A first person narrative. And, I number all of these things GIFTS.... adding to the list of 1000 and beyond... the ways that HE blesses us.

I ask that you, my friends and family, keep me in your prayers as I enter into this new season of my life. Pray that God would mold me just as a potter molds his clay. That I would feel the loving embrace of HIM. That through his grace I would go forth.... with roots deeper than before springing forth new growth as I continue to walk in the light of his way.

*******As part of my ongoing spiritual journey I would like to bless one of my readers with a book that has touched my life in so many ways. To be entered into a random drawing to win a hard bound copy of Ann Voskamp's book: One Thousand Gifts... A Dare To LIVE FULLY Right Where You Are...... leave a comment on this post in the comments section. For a second chance to win Tweet "@joytimesfive I want to win Ann Voskamp's book!" For a third chance to win.... find the JOY TIMES FIVE community page on Facebook and hit the like button. Contest will remain open until midnight EST March 9th, 2011. Winner will be chosen by random drawing and notified by email.*******

These Shoes Were Made For....

2011-02-28T13:09:00.000-07:00

She sat there on the floor in the middle of the department.... several boxes surrounding her. A real kid in a candy store...... a girl with a shoe addiction just like her mama!

One by one she would take them out and inspect them before carefully placing them on her feet. In bold syle she waltzed through the aisle as her mind was clammored with choices.

Brown.
Striped.
Leather.
Canvas.
Stylish.
Functional.

Glancing at this one then back to that one.... sure to make just the "right" choice. You know, right for a 7... soon to be 8 year old girl.

As she carefully packed them all up... being sure to match each contestant with its' mate and appropriate cardboard housing.... she handed me her finalist. The winner had been chosen.

For weeks she had talked about them. Shoes like mine. It's all she wanted. All she babbled about (I can say babbled.... her name is Brooke). All that consumed her.... every thought.... was about having shoes like mine.

And, in my hand I held her choice.... The underdog. NOT the dream. NOT all she had talked about for days on end.

These shoes I held in my grip were NOT like mine. Those shoes like mine.... a size 13. A perfect fit! These.... the winners. The PERFECT choice. The dream come true. A size 1.

And, for a moment my heart melted in empathy. I knew exactly what she was thinking.

I. HAD. BEEN. IN. HER. SHOES. BEFORE.

The kid in class... always wanting to fit in. To have the latest and the greatest.... but always shunned from the opportunities... by feet too small to fit into the size of the main stream trends.

My mind wondered for a moment. To the present day ME. And here in THIS place my thoughts were consumed.... not by the size of my feet or the shoes that I wear.... but.... by the walk that these feet of mine live out.

You see, I realize now, that the size of my feet and the style of my shoes do not define me. I am however, defined by how I used these feet to walk out for HIM in my everyday life.

I am confident that my GOD has given me soles for the journey. Soles that are trendy "enough" to step out in faith and bear witness to HIS name. Soles for all seasons of THIS life. Water proofed for the floods. All terrain for the rugged outback. All laced up and ready to shine in the reflection of His Son. Able to withstand even the coldest weather. In these soles I can stand in HIS presence and feel HIS warmth embrace my soul.

When my feet are feeling physically worn out.... and my heart grows weary from the everyday.... that we call THIS life.... I can rest assured that the soles under my feet are sufficient enough to sustain me.

She smiled at me as the cashier bagged our purchase.

"These shoes will help me run fast.... because they are bigger! I'm gonna go places mom...."

"...and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."

Hebrews 12:1

Pack-ing Light.....

2011-02-24T09:17:00.000-07:00

I could see the clouds of dust billowing up from behind as the old yellow school bus made its' way slowly down the winding dirt road. Right on time. I glanced at my watch. 3pm sharp!

Positioning myself beside the road, I waited for their arrival. One by one they got off in single file fashion. I saw his feet hit the ground as he haphazardly shuffled his way towards the car. With a single clench of the fist the back door was open as he heaved his fully loaded back pack onto the seat. He breathed a sigh of relief.

I glanced at him from the drivers seat.... he knew what I was thinking. In an instant his words completed my thoughts...

"I know, I know.... why do you always load your pack so full?"
"It's ok mom... I can handle it. And really, have you seen some of these other kids.... their packs are far heavier than mine. So, you shouldn't worry."

I put the car in reverse. The beginning of a long ride home. Some days this is a great opportunity for conversation. Time to catch up and hear about his day. Today however, was not one of those catch up sort of days. I could see from the weary look on his brow that he was tired. Worn out. And, I couldn't help but think that carrying a load as big as that.... on his back all day, certainly had to have something to do with it all.

So we sat in silence. I fixed my gaze on the road ahead of me while he peered out the side window. Barely able to keep his eyes open.

As the road led on ahead of me, winding on to what seemed like no where.... flash backs of my own life unraveled in my head.

In an instant I could see myself... in the likeness of this child sitting beside me. Hunched over, weighed down... by the very things I carry around in my own pack each day.

His pack carried books. One for each subject... and notebooks with pages scribbled full of notes taken while sitting for hours behind a desk. On occassion you could find a lunch accompanied by a drink in there too. In total.... the thing must have weighed close to 50 pounds.

My pack was different though. It too, carried a lot of stuff. But, more often than not... the contents would change daily. The contents of his pack remained static... changing only with the semesters.

I could see the sun beginning its' decent behind the trees ahead of me. My mind entrenched in taking a visual account of the things in my pack today. One by one I emptied them... So many things. Where to begin. How could it possibly be, that I needed to carry this much stuff. He was snoring now beside me.... his back pack all but a distant memory to him.

He rested peacefully in the seat next to me while my mental pile formed. Filled with stuff. Stuff I felt important enough to carry around with me all day. Stuff that weighed on me like the load of 1000 elephants.

First I pulled out my worry. About my kids. About my husband. About his job. About relationships. And money and health.... and well, just about anything. I'm a worrier somedays and it looked as though today was one of "those" days.

Next I pulled out my anxiety. Over the uncertainty of things that lie ahead. School placements and testings and all the variables with unknowns.

That gave way to the next item.... my fears. Somedays this one is like a 1000 pound gorilla. Thankfully, today.... it was only 500 pounds instead.

As I continued to mentally empty the pack I had been carrying, I felt the weight diminishing as my body began to relax into the seat. Tension releasing as I let go of some of the stuff I had been lugging around.

Tears began to stream down my face. The house was up ahead just a bit in the distance. I had to pull it together. The boy would be waking soon.

As the car hurried ahead... seemingly on auto pilot at this point.. my mind fell silent. An empty pack and a pile of rubble in front of me.

Nearing our destination I glanced out the window as we passed by the church on the hill. Three crosses stood on that hill. Alone. A reminder for me. Of the needless weight I have burdened myself with carrying around. A pack full. Weighing me down. Robbing me of the very fullness of joy that is THIS life.

His eyes began to open now. Somehow he knew we were near.

The car sputtered up the long drive and he began to gather his things. As we came to a stop, he swiftly heaved that pack onto his back and made his way towards the front door. I followed closely behind, gathering my thoughts.

Keeping in synch with his normal routine, he hung his stuff by the door... on his hook. Jacket. Backpack. Shoes tucked below. I thought for a moment and paused to look around. With a sigh of relief I took note of the empty hook next to his. It was as if it was planned.... a space for me. To hang my pack.

With my head feeling clear now and my eyes wide open, I was awakened in that moment... to the weightlessness I felt. Relief from the burden. And, as I hung that pack up something inside me gave a nudge.... Without hesitation I gave all those contents... The worries. The anxieties. The fears. To HIM. I don't need to carry them around anymore. HE has already carried the biggest pack of all..... on HIS back, in the stillness of a Friday afternoon.

And, HERE in THIS place of BEING... HE carries the burden for me. So that, I am free to live out the fullness of JOY that is mine. His blessings for me!

Today....

2011-02-22T13:31:00.000-07:00

My friends...

Today I want you to know...

YOU are LOVED!

More than you know. More than the mind can comprehend. More today than yesterday.... and definately more tomorrow than today!

YOU are BEAUTIFUL!

The way you smile. The way you giggle. The way you cry. HIS. A beautiful masterpiece personally hand crafted by the master craftsman Himself!

YOU are CHOSEN!

Every hair on your head. Counted. Every hurt in your heart. Accounted for. Every joy you feel. Numbered.

YOU are HIS!

PERFECT in every possible way!

Mis-Understandings...... Understood!

2011-02-16T13:02:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel as though my moments are spent in a constant state of mis-understanding. It's not really that I mis-understand. It's that I DON'T understand. And, when I open my eyes.... to THIS place. When I am awake to BEING... I realize that there is a lot.... about THIS life, that I simply Do NOT understand.

Lives shattered by disease.
Hearts ripped open by death.
Jobs lost.
Hurt feelings.
Bullies.
Abusive parents.
Homelessness.
Depression.

And, my list goes on. Things that I simply do NOT, CANNOT.... comprehend. Not in THIS life.

And as I wrestle... to grasp even a tiny morsel of understanding in THIS place of BEING... I must stand still. I must remain awake to the things that the mind CAN comprehend. I must name them gifts. From HIM. My Creator. I must always remain PRESENT.... to the PRESENCE of God.

In these moments... of comprehension lost. Confusion looming. Doubt. Despair. Loss. I must remember that HERE is where I realize most.... His GRACE is ENOUGH. HE is enough. I must humbly surrender my personal expectations in exchange for HIS story. Waking myself in THIS moment... to HIS timing. HIS perfect plan.

HERE I will see the greatness of our God. HERE.... at the point where my will intersects with His story... I can savor all that He gives.

HERE... when I am present to His presence... I can open my eyes to opposition giving way to opportunity. The realization that if He brings me to it... He will bring me through it... becomes a reality.

When He meets me in THIS place... I am free to grow. Fed daily with His word. Nurtured always by HIS very being. His understanding becomes my celebration. His GRACE pouring the very life into me.

In THIS place I am alive..... and I give thanks! HIS gifts are good!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV

Oh How Our Lives Would Be Different.....

2011-02-12T04:00:00.001-07:00

In my lifetime... all thirty nine years... I have learned one thing. There is nothing better than a great story. As a child I loved to be read to and as I got older.... I loved to read. So much can be gained from simply taking in the written word.... the story of another. And really... when I look around me, isn't it all just a story? THIS. LIFE. A story. HIS story.

When I was in about the 4th grade one of my favorite go to reads.... was always a book in which you could choose your own ending. This was perfect for me because I could always assure.... a happy ending. I could always end the book smiling. Happy. And... move on to yet another book... with yet another, happy ending.

How different our lives today would be if we were just like those books. How vastly different would our story look.... if we could simply assure ourselves of a happy ending.

As kids, there were eight years that separated us. He the eldest. Me, the little sister. There was another. He the middle. He the one I scarcely knew. His the life that tragically ended riding his bike to play. Our family of five.... downsized in an instant... on a warm, July day. Hearts forever scarred by the reality of a story... Our story. This families' story. Written by an author other than myself. The ending determined only by Him.

Five became four.... And the story went on. Chapter upon chapter. Good times and bad. Picking up pieces... from wounds that gape. Wide open. Begging to be filled. Begging to be healed. Emotions seeking a wholeness. A family.... broken. Pressing onward.

A childhood spent in union with another... older. Wiser. Watching the nightmare of parents. Wounded. Desperately seeking to rewind the hands of the clock. Seeking to make sense of the senseless. The guilt, the blame, the shame. All of it.... too much to bear. Becoming unbearable.

Blank pages of this story waiting to be filled.

But how? How do you pick up the pieces when the story is not yours to tell? When you are not the author.... when the ending boggles the mind beyond comprehension. How? How do you go on? Where? Where is the author? The Creator? The one who gives life.... the one who takes life? Where do you find Him in a story with this ending?

Days evolve into weeks and give way to years. Pain diminishing. Time.... softening the blow of a loss so deep. Desperately seeking some sense of normal. A new normal. The normal of a story still being inked. The normal of this story. The normal of our story.

He grew up ahead of me.... as logic would say with eight years between us. As he grew older in the years... I watched him struggle with the pain. With the guilt... of having witnessed the unthinkable. Of having seen DEATH.

They were eleven months apart. The eldest and the middle. Nearly inseparable.... by birth. Irish twins separated in this life... by the story.

All the years of his struggle however and one thing remained steadfast. I WAS the little sister. I was the thorn in his side... with every girlfriend and new relationship. In my self appointed, allbeit, young, position as matchmaker.... I always only had his best interest at heart. Just like all "good" little sisters would.

I WAS the little sister... who proudly announced at family dinner night.... my confusion about the earring stud which decorated his ear. The same little sister who further vocalized confusion over boys with long hair and no hair bows.... begging for permanents while donning "cool" combs in their back pockets.

I WAS the little sister who loved a friendly game of Monopoly.... Simon and even Twister on a cold Christmas Eve.

He took me sledding... in two inches of snow. Downhill. We laughed all the way. I rode on the back of his Yamaha.... YELLOW Yamaha to be exact..... through the back (neighborhhood) woods of Texas. Only years separated us.

Hearts on the mend and time on our side.... chapter upon chapter of the story continued to be written. Blank pages still waiting to be filled.

He grew up and found a girl. Little Sister approved. Of course. They were married and their story began. Over the years I watched him go from a boy to a man. Blessed with four beautiful children. The future was his to behold. But his heart was still wounded. Still bearing witness to the tragedy of the middle. Child that is. His only brother.

They say that time heals all wounds but it seemed as though, depsite his best efforts... time was never on his side. His wounds were raw. He was broken. A soul searching to be filled. To be healed.

It was a typical Sunday. Fall was in the air. It was cold. Brisk. A chill filled the air and the grey sky marked the season.

In the sanctuary people stood. Together. In communion. In worship. Being filled with the goodness of the storyteller. The organist began her intro... into the final song. The Churches One Foundation. One of my favorites. Long ingrained into my memory. Verse by verse. Remnants of Lutheran School days gone by.

From the corner of my eye.... I saw him off in the distance. This friend of ours. Scanning the people who stood in song. And in an instant his gaze fixed on me. With a purposeful step he made his way across the front. To where I stood. Several people looking on. Suspicious... of the exchange that followed. The words conveyed.... in the 3rd pew of the church.... October 29, 1995.

The story. The author. A book closed. Another chapter complete. The chapter of LIFE. His. The eldest. Me, the only one left. And, in an instant what was four..... had now become three.

A family shattered. Memories of a childhood tragedy.... flood back. Over take my being. A silent observer watching as parents bury a second child. It isn't suppose to happen like this. No parent ever plans to bury their young.

Oh how different our lives would be..... if we chose the ending.

But, this LIFE. THIS story. Is NOT our story to tell. We are merely vessels.... conveying a story of an author whose writing is far supreme to mine. Characters. Chosen. HIS. To tell HIS story. And our story becomes HIS story. And HIS story becomes our story.

Though time has waned on... the memory of the eldest still floods my thoughts. Haunted by hows and whys. In all of this I search. I reach out. To the author and perfector of LIFE. Of THIS story. Chapter upon chapter being written in perfect harmony.... with HIS perfect plan.

And HERE, I approach the throne of GRACE. Standing before the great storyteller with hands stretched open... I humbly fall to my knees. Broken. With my cup. Waiting to be filled. And I utter Thanksgiving. For LIFE. For HIS story. And though my wounds are still healing.... my eyes are opened to the perfection of His plan. He, the ultimate storyteller.

And today... I celebrate LIFE. His LIFE. Holding dear to memories... of MOMENTS.... spent in unity. He the eldest. Me, the little sister.

Today, while I celebrate... the greatest storyteller of all gets cake. A grand birthday celebration indeed.

And I think.... Oh how our lives would be different.... If only, we chose the ending.

What's Your Price?

2011-02-09T10:00:00.000-07:00

I will admit that I have become somewhat of a social media junky. NO, I am not addicted by any means.... but I do like it. Social media to me can be defined as Facebook, Twitter and fellow blogs.

Often times what I read in these forums strikes me. Sometimes as humorous. Sometimes with sadness. And yet other times with a definate air of seriousness. In my world that revolves around peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and Go Diego Go... This is where I find my adult interaction. It's sad really on one hand... but quite awesome on another hand. Through social media I have been able to connect and reconnect with friends both far and near. But, more than that.... I have been able to witness the body of Christ in action and I have also been able to bear witness to the body of Christ myself. I have seen firsthand the depth of HIS unfailing love.... and how it reaches people like you and I daily.

And so, in keeping with a somewhat normal morning routine... I sat down today to catch up on status updates from my friends. While doing so, I was particularily struck by the words of one. She didn't type anything glamorous. And, it definately wasn't long. For most, it might not have even seemed to carry meaning.... other than in terms of small talk. But, for me.... it got me thinking.

"What's your price?" Is all it read.

When I saw those words I had but one thought come to mind....

Two rugged planks and three nails. That's the price.

The price that HE paid for me. So that I might live today.... A Child of God, saved by HIS grace.

And, what does this cost me? NOTHING. Absolutely NOTHING. My cost in the equation is quite simple. An abiding relationship with my Savior. Where trust is superior and all worries are set aside.

You see.... what I know about this cost is this.... regardless of my sins, regardless of how broken and in pieces I might be.... there is NOTHING that will ever separate me from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus. And I am so thankful that even when my feet slip and fall and my eyes become blind.... to all that is HIS. HE is steadfast in HIS promise to me. HIS grace never goes away. I don't have to beg him for it... it is mine. Just BECAUSE... HE loves me.

And so, for today.... I will reach out for my Savior's hand and I will walk with him. And, when I get tired or grow weary.... I will let him carry me. HIS grace will fill the holes that seap into my soul. And I will be WHOLE... because, the price has already been paid.

And I am ALIVE..... HERE in THIS place of BEING. Filled with my Savior's love and grace....

No Doors and No Windows.....

2011-02-08T17:12:00.000-07:00

DETAILS. The very fabric weaving the MOMENTS of our life. Thousands in a day. Millions in our lifetime.

Minute DETAILS begging the distracted attention of our eyes. Asking us to take notice of the craftmanship of the DETAIL creator. Zebras with stripes. A rainbow of floral color. Trees filled with leaves. Waves in the ocean. Sand on the shore. A smile on the young child's face. A tear in the eyes of a mother. The wounded soldier. A setting sun.

They sat in a circle with their legs crossed. With eager anticipation they looked to me. Twenty six eyes all gazing in my direction. Experiment day.... in the three year old room. The subject: Apples.

Perhaps you have been blessed enough to have heard the story of the Little Red House with No Windows and No Doors.... But a Star on the Inside. For those who haven't, let me share...

There was once upon a time a little boy who was tired of playing with his toys and tired of his books and puzzles.

"What shall I do?" He asked his mother. And his mother, who always knew fun things for the little boys to do, said "Why not go and find the little red house with no doors and no windows and a star inside."

This really made the little boy wonder. Usually his mother had good ideas, but he thought that this one was very strange.

"Which way shall I go?" He asked his mother. "I don't know where to find a little red house with no doors and no windows."

"Go down the lane past the farmer's house and over the hill, " said the mother, "and then hurry back as soon as you can and tell me all about your journey."

So the little boy put on his hat and his jacket and started out. He had not gone very far down the lane when he came to a merry little girl dancing along in the sunshine. Her cheeks were like pink blossom petals and she was singing like a robin.

"Do you know where I shall find a little red house with no doors and no windows and a star inside?" asked the little boy.

The little girl laughed. "Ask my father the farmer," she said. "Perhaps he knows."

So the little boy went on until he came to the great brown barn where the farmer kept barrels of fat potatoes and baskets of yellow squashed and golden pumpkins. The farmer himself stood in the doorway looking out over the green pastures and yellow grain fields.
"Do you know where I shall find a little red house with no doors and no windows and a star inside?" asked the little boy of the farmer. The farmer laughed too. "I've lived a great many years and I never saw one," he chuckled, "but ask Granny who lives at the foot of the hill...She knows how to make homemade cookies, taffy, and popcorn balls.... and red mittens! Perhaps she can tell you."

So the little boy went on farther still, until he came to the Granny sitting in her rocker on her front porch. She had lots of wrinkles and a big smile on her sweet face.
"Please, dear Granny, said the little boy, "where shall I find a little red house with no doors and no windows and a star inside?"

The Granny was knitting a red mitten and when she heard the little boy's question, she laughed so cheerily that the wool ball rolled out of her lap and down to the little stone path.

"I should like to find that little house myself," she chuckled. "It would be warm when the frosty night comes and the starlight would be much prettier than a candle. But ask the wind who blows about so much and listens to all the chimneys. Perhaps the wind can tell you."

So the little boy took off his cap politely to the granny and went on up the hill rather sadly. He wondered if his mother, who usually knew almost everything, had perhaps made a mistake. The wind was coming down the hill as the little boy climbed up. As they met, the wind turned about and went along, singing beside the little boy. It whistled in his ear, and pushed him along and dropped a pretty leaf into his hands.
"I wonder," thought the little boy, after they had gone along together for awhile, "if the wind could help me find the little red house with no doors, and no windows and a star inside."

The wind cannot speak in our words, but it went singing ahead of the little boy until it came to an orchard. There it climbed up in the apple tree and shook the branches. When the little boy caught up, there, at his feet, lay a big red apple. The little boy picked up the apple. It was as much as his two hands could hold. It was as red as the sun had been able to paint it, and it had no doors and no windows. Was there a star inside?

The little boy called to the wind, "Thank you," and the wind whistled back, "You're welcome." The little boy hurried back down the lane with the big, red apple in his hand. When he reached his house and the little boy gave the apple to his mother. His mother said, "You have found a house with no doors and no windows but where is the star?" His mother took a knife and cut the apple through the center. Oh, how wonderful! There inside the apple lay a star holding five brown seeds.

"It is too wonderful to eat without looking at the star, isn't it?" the little boy said to his mother.

"Yes, indeed," answered his mother.

Sometimes.... I find myself in the image of this small child. I grow complacent... I get bored and I beg for more. I grumble and I complain. Wishing to gain control of the DETAILS of my life. With my mouth... I utter words of complaint. My heart becomes hardened... unable to beat in the rhythm of life. In union with the DETAIL creator.

It's the DETAILS of these MOMENTS.... sometimes I find them less than desireable. And, all the time... they are out of my control.

In these MOMENTS.... when I struggle to just BE. When I am tempted to abandon the entire theory of ABIDING...

I think on life in terms of this red apple. This house... this beautiful house... with no doors and no windows.. and a star on the inside. And I am reminded that on the outside I often miss the beauty of the DETAILS which lie beneath.

It is only when I dig deeper... when I cut into this outer shell that my eyes are opened. WIDE. To the author and perfector.... of all that IS.

With my eyes open... in THIS place... I can see that HE is in the DETAILS of these moments. HE is in the DETAILS of every moment. And, although sometimes uncomfortable... the DETAILS of HIS moments are perfect... for me.

With each passing DETAIL... with each moment... of this life. Each moment in THIS place of BEING....

I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them. I will say, "They are my people." and they will say, "The Lord is our God."

Zechariah 13:9 NIV

And here.... I am ALIVE... to the DETAILS which define me. And my heart beats once more... in union with the author and perfector of all the DETAILS.

In Which I speak of HIS Kingdom....

2011-02-05T21:22:00.000-07:00

From a distance I watch her play. A quiet contentment fills the space. This child of mine... fully immersed in the kingdom of imaginative play. The place where princes woo princesses and everyone lives happily ever after.

While she continues to play my thoughts shift... to THIS place of BEING. THIS place right here.

I have found myself quite restless this past week. Struggling to find peace and contentment in a world where circumstances fall short of my expectations of perfection. Gasping for air... being strangled and cut off by all things that are LIFE.

As the snow continues to fall.... for what seems to be the 10th day in a row... I stand at the window with fists clenched. A heart closed to the beauty that lies in front of me. HIS GRACE... WHITE in front of me. My eyes closed. Senses whirling. Desperately seeking to find solace.

With her castle.... her kingdom.... still in front of her... she lines them up. Three beautiful princesses, paired perfectly with a prince suited for each.

As her imagination unfolds, so do my thoughts. The downward spiral spinning out of control.

I stand there... at the window and my gaze continues. Entranced by the rhythm of falling flakes. I need to find peace. HIS perfect peace.

To remain in THIS place of BEING I must unclench my fists and fixate my eyes not on what I see... but rather, on things that I cannot see. I must become awake to the realization that what I see is only temporary. That which is unseen... is eternal. While the world around me spins a web of change. Circumstances beyond my control. My eyes are opened to see the GRACE of an unchanging God.

With a shifting glance my focus moves upward and the tension in my hands relaxes. My palms fall open and my heart stands in wait.... ready to receive the GIFTS of my King. I enter into his presence. THIS place of BEING where His GRACE is sufficient for me. HERE, his power is made perfect in my weakness.

As her imagination plays out the fairy tale... my eyes are widened to the role that I play. In a fleeting moment... through her eyes... I enter into HIS kingdom. Like a child. Innocence embracing holiness... All that is HIS.

A FRESH Perspective.....

2011-01-31T11:16:00.000-07:00

I woke up early this morning. Earlier than normal. Barely a glimpse of daylight on the horizon as I peered out my window. Cold. The weatherman said bitter cold.

As day began to break... a hint of moisture could be seen in the air. Frozen. Cold. Moisture.

Despite the frigid temperatures.... it was business as usual. You know, the typical monday morning routine.... Which usually resembles something like this:

TWO children wake up happy.
ONE child wakes up grumpy (and you think.... I should know this by now).
Breakfast commences.
Clothes changed.
ONE child ALWAYS has a fashion crisis.
ONE child can never find their shoes.
And yet another child ALWAYS wants to wear cowboy boots.
Backpacks are stuffed.... to overflowing.
Jackets are on.
and
We are out the door.

School. On time. Again. Success.

Emerging from the car I soon realized the ice beneath my feet. Two kids were off in a flash... places to go, people to see, things to do. One child... hung behind. To argue the importance of independence.... even in the compromise of their own safety and well being.

THIS child. THEIR independence..... A blessing. Even when... it's icy. Even when.... it's stressful. A blessing.

I paused for a moment to regain my thoughts.... try a different approach. My position as mom and this child's position as an independent child. Compromise not entirely negotiable on either part.

I CARRIED him to the door.
Traded the child for registration paperwork.
Drop Off DONE.

I shuffled my way back to my car... paying close attention to the ground that lie beneath me. A few errands on my mind. I started the car.....

Feeling a bit stressed from the "normal" chaos of the morning.... my mind desperately trying to focus... on a FRESH perspective.

The car came to a stop. My mind still racing.... in search of perspective.... HOLY perspective.

Within moments... that new, HOLY perspective became mine. On my butt. In a parking lot. No where to look.... but UP.

As I glanced around... you know, in embarrassment... I couldn't help but notice the stillness around me. Ice underneath me. And, a God who gave it all to me.

And I sat there.... HIS beauty to behold. Trees covered in ice. White snow softly falling. A quiet peace filled the air.

HIS voice whispering to me "BE STILL and know that I am GOD"

A new perspective.... a HOLY perspective. Coming into focus through the clouded lens of my mind.

And my eyes.... are opened. Wide. To THIS place of BEING. HIS GRACE surrounding me. Reminders all around... mercies, new everyday! And I see the blessing. The cold. The frozen. The ice. The snow. GIFTS from HIM.

A stillness... mine to behold.
A moment...
mine
To TASTE and SEE the goodness of our GOD.

And... I number it.
I name it.
A blessing.
A GIFT.

And... I am ALIVE. All HERE. Right NOW!

I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints.

Ephesians 1:18 NIV

A Matter of MOMENTS.....

2011-01-27T19:19:00.000-07:00

Life is not measured by a matter of moments

But...

By the moments that take our breath away.

Moments. That's all we have. A series of time and places giving definition to THIS life. Sacred moments. A GIFT. For me, from my creator.

Moments... to be embraced with eyes wide open. Eyes ready to behold the glory.... that is our God. Eyes ready to see the wonder and the amazement that HE alone blesses us with. Eyes open.... giving a visual account... of the GIFT. That is mine.

With my eyes wide open I gain a conscious awareness that these GIFTS require no occassion. Every day. Every moment. IS the occassion. Today.... is the occassion. YES! Today IS the day that HE has made. For me.

And, looking around me... I can see with clarity... that even the mundane. Even the ugly. Even the hard.... ALL a GIFT.

Spilled milk. Messy rooms. Dirty faces. Muddy places.

All GIFTS... for me.

Moments begging me to STOP. To be STILL. To ABIDE.

Moments... everyday reminders. For me. Of HIS GRACE.

Birds chirping. Trees rustling in the breeze. Children swinging... absorbing all that is HIS. Absorbing... the moment. Sun shining. Rays that warm my skin.

My eyes are wide open... to all that is... LIFE.

I remember it so clearly. So vividly. Almost as though it were yesterday. The day I realized....I take THIS life for granted. These moments... all expected... taken for granted.

It was a warm day. The sun was shining. Typical for Colorado in August. As mid-day approached, the afternoon clouds began to build. I remember feeling so alone... in a quiet hospital room. Sounds of monitors blurred out my overwhelming thoughts of fears. Thoughts of doom. Thoughts of life. The LIFE inside me. Yet to be born. Still so very small... only half baked.

Twenty five weeks. Time taken for granted. Each ticking moment of the clock.... now a GIFT to number. More important than ever before. Moments.... adding to the life of my unborn child.

As doctors huddled together... fate on their lips. LIFE on their lips. Moments. Precious moments. GIFTS... for me.

A quiet stillness. A calm came over me. And HE was there with me... in THAT moment. As my fears began to over take... I felt the presence of my Savior. There beside me. Moments.... still ticking away on the clock. Each a GIFT... NOT to be taken for granted.

The sign on the door read " Delivery Room: No admittance beyond this point " Oh how I wished to be spared from entering into that sterile environment. Oh how I wished that my thoughts could be spared from the harsh reality... that this might very well be... my last moments with my child.

Twenty five weeks of moments... Moments... taken for granted.... all crashing in around me.

The doors opened and they ushered me in. A single table... awaited me. A cold, sterile table... the birth place for my still small child. An air of silence filled the room as the preparations began. I lay there numb. In a quiet desperation... I cried out to HIM. The one who gives moments. To the one who gives LIFE.

It all went quickly... an emergency of sorts. And suddenly, there... in THAT place... I beheld the beloved GRACE of my God. And my mind became fully aware. FULLY ALIVE... to the moments I had taken for granted.

ABIDING in THIS place.....

2011-01-25T15:06:00.000-07:00

I listened to her words.... tears streaming down my face. A true testimony of her FAITH. Living proof of HIS goodness.

As my ears tuned in to her spoken words.... thoughts began to stir within me. Swirling in my head... a tornado waiting to be penned on paper. Thoughts on this GRACE thing. Thoughts of THIS place...THIS place of BEING. THIS place.... where we ABIDE.

In THIS place.... with eyes wide open.. I become aware of moments. Blessings. GIFTS. For me. And, my thoughts flow more freely.

I watched a short video today... before I left to pick my kiddo up from school. His, my ultimate story of GRACE. My ultimate story of my Savior in my life... For ME! Ever present... never failing... in my face.... my GOD! HIS presence.

This video touched me.... and, the thoughts went deeper.

Today, in THIS place. Right HERE. Right NOW. I am ALIVE. And, my spririt.... is moved by HIS Spirit. I am driven in my quest to know my GOD in ways far more intimate than before. I want to ABIDE with HIM. Always acknowledging HIM. In my actions. In my words. In my thoughts. Even in my sleep.

And, the fire ignites..... and it burns. PASSION... That's what I am talking about. A PASSION so deep.... burning from within. Yearning for more. A PASSION.... giving definition to THIS place. THIS place of BEING. Fully ALIVE. Right HERE. Right NOW!

In THIS place my heart begins to flow.... with gratitude. THANKS for the journey HE has placed me on. And, THANKS for the people whom HE has placed in my life.... to share in this journey. To share in the ups and downs. To laugh with and to cry with. HE is in the details.

Recently, my dear friend... my confidant.... my biggest encourager... started her own blog journey. Her words are the ones I speak of here today. Words that speak to me. Words that touch my heart.... always encouraging me to trust more. To take that next step. To embrace the risk.... and call it my own. To name it. A blessing. A GIFT. To number it. On our list.... of one thousand or more.

I am so honored to not only call her my friend... but also, my partner... in this journey. Together... we will walk. Side by side. Striving to remain in THIS place of BEING. Striving to always ABIDE in HIM. In THIS place... we see his GRACE manifested... and we are filled with JOY. Authentic JOY!

She has chosen her word for the year: ABIDE. This friend of mine is so incredibly passionate about this GOD of ours... and I just know you will all love her writings just as much as I do...

So my friends... will you peek at her blog today? Will you love on her and her words... the way you love on me?

You can read her words HERE.

I am so excited to watch her grow in this new endeavor. Yes, it's true... our GOD is so good. And, our God is so faithful!

And so my FRIEND.... carry on.... write for ONE. The only ONE. And I will walk beside you... and cheer you on. Holding you up on those days when words seem sparce.... and rejoicing in days when words are plentiful. Words my friend..... YOUR words... have touched MY life. And... will touch the lives of many! Blessings on YOUR journey....

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: if either of them falls down, one can help the other up.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Make a DIFFERENCE Monday....

2011-01-24T07:30:00.000-07:00

So here we are..... in this place of GRACE.

Feeling comfortable yet? I'm not.... and I don't want to either. When I get comfortable.... I get complacent. So Lord, keep me always yearning for more...... always looking to find you in THIS place of GRACE!

I have been a long standing fan and listener of K-Love now for a while. This tradition started with them and their listener community sometime last year.... and for me, it has STUCK. It has become something that I look forward to weekly. Something that I always remember..... and look forward to!

If we were to look in the dictionary for the literal meaning of the word GRACE.... you would find something written there similar to this:

"unmerited favor"

Isn't that so true. GRACE.... not something that we ask for.... but rather, something we just receive. An undeserved GIFT!
What better way for us.... as part of the Christian community... to extend a measure of God's GRACE to others than to MAKE A DIFFERENCE in the life of someone else. It's good for those whose lives we touch... and, it's good for our souls!
So what do you say.... Link up with Mr. Linky and share your story. Share your MAKE A DIFFERENCE MONDAY with us.... How have you made a difference in the life of someone today.... or perhaps someone has made a difference for you today....

When BEING becomes Overwhelming....

2011-01-19T19:46:00.001-07:00

I had a bit of a moment last night. Anxiety. Tears. Blessings. Tears. Stress. Tears. Blessings. ALL of it. GIFTS from HIM.

To be numbered.... on a list of 1000.

I hit that publish button last night.... still a measure of uneasiness weighing heavy on my heart. My words were messy.... not exactly the ones I intended to use. You know, to share my message with you.

But, more than that.... I realized one thing.

To fully BE all HERE right NOW.... will take work on my part. A conscious committment to always BE aware of time and place. Always seeing with eyes open... from a different perspective. From a HOLY perspective. HIS perspective.

And then I realized further... I cannot do this alone. And I became overwhelmed at the thought. A flood of tears washed over my face. I number this as a blessing. A GIFT. One of the thousand.

I paused, asking myself but one question.... HOW? HOW will I ever measure up?

It's hard for me to reason with myself when I am in THAT place. THAT place of irrational fears and poor judgements. A familiar place... tied to familiar thoughts. Tied to all of my own insecurities. Failures tied to countless attempts of haphazardly trying to do this thing. This BEING thing.... on my own.

As my mind continued to wonder further into my insecure place.... my head told me I should simply go to bed.

I woke this morning feeling almost raw from the emotion of it all. If I am to be successful. If I am to BE all HERE. Right NOW... my perspective must change. I must physically move my feet to align them with the feet of my Savior. HE will carry me.

My thoughts once again drifted to my single question of HOW? HOW will I ever measure up?

The phone rang. A dear friend on the other end.... Encouragement. For me.

"Did you read "our" devotion today?"

No other words were needed.

I fumbled around to find the words she was speaking of. Opening my Bible to Isaiah 41:10 I read aloud:

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." NIV

HOW? HOW will I ever measure up?

I won't.... because, I don't have to. And so, I walk that tight rope with my head held high... for below me lies that safety net... HIS GRACE.

That's ALL I need.

And I number that a blessing... A GIFT. From HIM.

And I am ALIVE. All HERE. Right NOW.

BEING all HERE Right NOW....

2011-01-18T19:43:00.000-07:00

Recently I have done some thinking about this whole concept of BEING. And I wonder.... To be all ALIVE. Right HERE. Right NOW.... musn't our minds press forward to a present, active state of abiding in him?

To fully BE... requires me to be BOLD!

To fully BE.... requires me to open my eyes to see God. To be all HERE. Right NOW. In HIS presence... eyes open, heart yearning.... waiting to be filled.

In this state of BEING.... I must humble myself before my Gracious God. In my broken messy state, I fall on my knees relinquishing my inadequacies to HIM.... and I receive mercy. A GIFT. For me.

To fully BE beckons forth an active FAITH in present tense to walk that tight rope.... knowing our only safety net. HIS GRACE.

BEING all HERE. Right NOW.... demands of me to take a risk. To abandon that comfort zone that I so preciously cling to. To fully embrace the truth that.... our ALL powerful God has ALL things under control... ALL the time.

BEING all here. Right NOW... begs of me to seek a freedom in Christ. Freedom that opens my eyes to HIM. Freedom that opens my eyes to authentic JOY. JOY... Right HERE. Right NOW.

And I am alive... embracing each moment as a GIFT. Living Right HERE. Right NOW. Casting tomorrow's worries aside.... grasping the hand of my Savior. Knowing.... HE is in control.

As I strive to ABIDE in HIM.... to fully BE... ALL HERE. Right NOW. The yearning of my heart deepens. Begging to be filled with that spiritual milk. And I step out... walking above the safety net of HIS Grace. I take the risk to open my eyes to all things of my God... and my soul is nourished.

My heart is molded by gratitude. Gratitude in BEING. Right HERE. Right NOW.

And I continue to name them.... GIFTS. From HIM. My creator.... who fills me with JOY. Right HERE. Right NOW.

So let us come BOLDLY to the throne of our Gracious God. There we will receive MERCY and we will find GRACE to help us when we need it.

Hebrews 4:16 NLT

Make a DIFFERENCE Monday...

2011-01-17T08:59:00.000-07:00

So here we are..... in this place of GRACE.

Feeling comfortable yet? I'm not.... and I don't want to either. When I get comfortable.... I get complacent. So Lord, keep me always yearning for more...... always looking to find you in THIS place of GRACE!

I have been a long standing fan and listener of K-Love now for a while. This tradition started with them and their listener community sometime last year.... and for me, it has STUCK. It has become something that I look forward to weekly. Something that I always remember..... and look forward to!

If we were to look in the dictionary for the literal meaning of the word GRACE.... you would find something written there similar to this:

"unmerited favor"

Isn't that so true. GRACE.... not something that we ask for.... but rather, something we just receive. An undeserved GIFT!

What better way for us.... as part of the Christian community... to extend a measure of God's GRACE to others than to MAKE A DIFFERENCE in the life of someone else. It's good for those whose lives we touch... and, it's good for our souls!

So what do you say.... Link up with Mr. Linky and share your story. Share your MAKE A DIFFERENCE MONDAY with us.... How have you made a difference in the life of someone today.... or perhaps someone has made a difference for you today....

One THOUSAND Gifts....

2011-01-13T20:18:00.000-07:00

So here we are.... Truly BEING in THIS place of authentic JOY! THIS place where contentment is defined by our way of life.

Here, in THIS place we come face to face with blessings which our creator bestows upon us. Blessings far too abundant to comprehend. GIFTS begging to be claimed. Waiting to be numbered.

When we recognize these GIFTS.... our hearts soften to a place where gratitude becomes imminent.

In her recent book.... One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Where You Are... Author Ann Voskamp speaks of a large dare which was challenged to her. To name 1000 things that she loves. To make a list. To become consciously aware of these things.... that she holds near and dear to her.

1000? 1000! It's a lot don't you think? Overwhelming at best. A real dare at minimum.

As I read further in her book.... it became clearly apparant to me.... that perhaps I too should accept this dare. This challenge to move my heart from a place of ingratitude to a place of overflowing gratitude.

To name HIS gifts... and in doing so, to unwrap the greatest gift of all.... JOY!

Ann further writes:

"And I see it now for what this really is, this dare to write down one thousand things I love. It really is a dare to name all the ways God loves me. The true Love Dare. To move into HIS presence and listen to HIS love unending and know the GRACE uncontainable."

YES! YES!

THIS is where I want to be.... in a place of GRACE uncontainable. Content with BEING. Regardless of circumstance... fully aware of HIS gifts for me.

What about you....

Are you up for the challenge?

***** Earlier this week I enlisted the help of my good friend. To keep a journal with me. To name 1000+ gifts in this new year! I am excited by the challenge. And, the fellowship of sharing this experience with a dear friend. We have started our journal and will switch it back and forth each week.... throughout the entire year. As we grow.. I will share with you... some of these GIFTS HE has blessed us with.

Today however, I would especially like to thank the girls over at http://www.gatherinspirit/ for the wonderful surprise that I woke up to this morning. They chose my blog.... among several available.... to promote as part of their LOVE AMBUSH! THIS my friends is a GIFT.... I have prayed about this blog and direction. Asking God to give me guidance on my writing. I write here for one..... and many have come. It melts my heart to see the direction HE is taking me. To share HIS word with you.... my readers, is a dream come true for me. So, thank you ladies for the LOVE you showed to me and this blog today! Your comments touched my heart. I am so VERY blessed!*****

AUTHENTIC JOY.....

2011-01-12T20:37:00.000-07:00

I find myself reading a lot lately. On a mission of sorts to quench the thirst of my soul.... that continually yearns for more.

The problem with this is.... The thirst just gets deeper. And so, the quest continues. And, my faith grows.

It's not a bad problem. Really.

So, what is this JOY that I speak of? This choice that I have made for myself?

Someone recently pointed out to me that to equate JOY to HAPPINESS welcomed an air of "unauthentic" living.

What exactly does that mean?

AUTHENTIC.

Adjective.

1. Obsolete
2. not false or imitation; real, actual
3. True to ones own personality, spirit or character

Mr. Webster always comes in handy when I am looking for that literal meaning. He's reliable like that.

Being defined by literal, dictionary terms is a scary proposition to me.... because, authenticity... to me, goes so much deeper than merely words on a page.

Authenticity drives this thirst of mine to the inner most reaches of my soul and cries out to a God who hears my every plea. Authenticity bleeds with my pain and rejoices in my triumphs. Authenticity is not something I can switch on and off like a light switch. Authenticity is at the core of BEING.

But, I am not defined by a book of definitions. I am defined by my creator. HE alone holds the definition. For me. For my life.

Here. Here in THIS place. THIS place of authentic BEING. Here we find JOY. HOLY JOY.

In THIS place of authentic BEING. THIS place of JOY.... we approach the throne of GRACE with empty hands and hearts hungry. Aching to be filled.

In THIS place of authentic BEING we reveal our raw state of brokenness. A state begging repair. A broken state beckoning gratitude for our creator who placed us there because HE alone finds us worthy of rebuilding.

On my knees I find JOY. At the foot of my Savior. In my broken, most vulnerable state of BEING.... in my authenticity JOY is revealed. On my knees in THIS place of HOLY JOY.... I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation whether well fed or hungry. Whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.
Phillipians 4:11-13 NIV.

This CONTENTMENT. This HAPPINESS.... THIS is the JOY that I speak of. THIS is the sacred waters my soul yearns for and the sacred ground my heart longs to find peace in.

THIS my friends is the JOY that I choose today and everyday!

Make a DIFFERENCE Monday

2011-01-10T11:09:00.000-07:00

So here we are..... in this place of GRACE.

Feeling comfortable yet? I'm not.... and I don't want to either. When I get comfortable.... I get complacent. So Lord, keep me always yearning for more...... always looking to find you in THIS place of GRACE!

I have been a long standing fan and listener of K-Love now for a while. This tradition started with them and their listener community sometime last year.... and for me, it has STUCK. It has become something that I look forward to weekly. Something that I always remember..... and look forward to!

If we were to look in the dictionary for the literal meaning of the word GRACE.... you would find something written there similar to this:

"unmerited favor"

Isn't that so true. GRACE.... not something that we ask for.... but rather, something we just receive. An undeserved GIFT!

What better way for us.... as part of the Christian community... to extend a measure of God's GRACE to others than to MAKE A DIFFERENCE in the life of someone else. It's good for those whose lives we touch... and, it's good for our souls!

So what do you say.... Link up with Mr. Linky and share your story. Share your MAKE A DIFFERENCE MONDAY with us.... How have you made a difference in the life of someone today.... or perhaps someone has made a difference for you today....

Today I Choose JOY....

2011-01-05T14:10:00.001-07:00

Have you ever walked by someone and thought to yourself....
" She is entirely too happy for me!"

Come on, admit it.... we are all guilty of this.

I recognize this about myself. My sometimes judgemental state.

But, I have to admit one thing....

In walking by the mirror recently... I paused and took a look (scary I know).... and I thought to myself:

"Am I that person?" The one filled with JOY?

It's a scary transformation for me. Let's face it... It is far easier to be critical of another person's JOY than it is to find your own JOY... and be content to live in that place.

JOY.... It is so much more than an emotion to me. In fact... it is so important that I would now classify it as a state of being!

JOY... It's my HAPPY place!

Just this morning, as we all piled into the car like a bunch of clowns heading off to the circus... I was reminded of this very state of being....This joy-filled state of being.

How can you not choose JOY when the eyes of three beautiful children twinkle in front of you as their mouths break forth in songs of praise... Chris Tomlin style of course!

YES, It's true....

Our GOD IS Greater...
Our GOD IS Stronger...
God YOU ARE Higher than any other...
Our GOD IS Healer...
AWESOME in POWER
Our GOD...

As my ears beheld the glorious sound... my heart sent out a resounding message to my head...

Today, and everyday really, I choose JOY!

Afterall... when you are abiding in HIM... resting in the grip of HIS GRACE... is there anything better than the JOY in THIS place?

Today Lord I ask you to always keep my focus on you. Let my eyes see you and my ears hear you.... while my heart yearns for you Lord... I choose YOU Lord... and I choose JOY!

Blessings on your day my friends!

I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.

John 15:11 NIV

Faith Like a Child

2011-01-04T13:32:00.000-07:00

He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: " I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

Matthew 18:2-4

We were in the middle of an indepth discussion.... his father and I.... when I heard the knock of his small fingers on my office door.

With a hushed "come in," the door cautiously opened.

And there he stood.... with tears running down his face. This child, who just moments before, was overjoyed with his weekly task of feeding his salamander. Yes... it was cricket time!

And so, just as any good mother would do... the words of "What's wrong?" flowed freely from my lips.

His sobs grew more intense as he struggled to find words to tell me "I think Rocky is dead!"

My heart sank. Somewhere in lost thought this very thought had crossed my mind. How would I ever handle this day when the time came? And although my thoughts had crossed this path before.... it was no use now! Because, all that came over me was a ~~bit~~ large amount of panic.

In that moment I could not wrap my head around the thought of this child's very own personal pet being dead. It just wasn't happening for me.

And so.... in my own state of shock and panic I very quickly utterd the words " Ian honey, are you sure?" "Let's go take a look."

With dad following closely behind we headed up the stairs. Thoughts of proper amphibian burial were swirling around in my head. I wondered if we needed a box... I mean, what the heck do you bury a salamander in? And for crying out loud, where do you bury him when it is like a frozen tundra outside? I'm a planner remember.... and this whole situation had me entirely out of my comfort zone.

In a somber state I entered my son's room to further assess the situation. Peering into the tank I nudged the little bugger with his rock. NO MOVEMENT! "Great!" I thought.... and examined some more. My heart sank further as I realized not only was there no movement but the critter was STIFF. STIFF as a board people! And once again I was back in thought about funeral planning and now.... how to provide comfort for my child through this great loss.

I left his room and returned to my office. My son following quietly behind.

My husband however, stayed in the child's room. He needed further confirmation. While he donned his most professional coroner poise he emerged from the room carrying the tank proclaiming that he felt..."not all is lost!"

"What?" My heart skipped a beat and my once funeral bound thoughts shifted to a bold question of: "Are you kidding me?" "That sucker was stiff!" How on earth does he detect movement and who on earth is performing lizard CPR because it sure as heck wasn't going to be me... I'm more suited for lizard funeral planning!

In that instant there was a flurry of activity in my kitchen.... where the lizard tank was now front and center on the counter. Thankfully, dinner had already commenced!

Looking over the critter some more I could see a flinch of movement but his condition was grave... no pun intended! I shared again with my son that Rocky had had a good life and he would be going to heaven soon.

A silence fell over the room.... and then my son uttered the most beautiful words:

"Can we pray mom?"

At this, my husband nearly bust a gut.... while I nearly lost it with tears in my eyes.

"Sure honey, I will pray with you if you would like..."

"You say it mom... I don't know how... to pray that is!"

Suddenly I felt a nudge on my arm and my ears were alerted as the princess proclaimed:

"Step back people I can handle this from here!"

Well... AMEN sister ROCK ON!

And out of her small mouth came these beautiful words:

"Dear God.... Please help my brother's lizard Rocky. He is sick. Can you make him well? Oh and God... can you wipe my brother's tears? He is really sad right now." And with that she uttered a hushed "amen."

As we stood silent.... our eyes were on that tank and the critter that occupied that space.

My mind was on thoughts of "oh Lord.... in talking about GRACE... could you throw me a line here?"

With that I opened my eyes and in amazement watched as this once stiff creature.... moved from one end of his tank to the other.

More than that though.....

I watched as my child became a believer... in that moment.

"God answers prayer mom! It's true! Look at Rocky move!"

Yes indeed my child.... our GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD...

and I am so thankful for HIS GRACE.... and his mercies, which are new everyday!

And by the way Lord... thanks! A HUGE thanks... from your #1 fan!

Make a DIFFERENCE Monday....

2011-01-03T14:35:00.000-07:00

So here we are..... in this place of GRACE.

Feeling comfortable yet? I'm not.... and I don't want to either. When I get comfortable.... I get complacent. So Lord, keep me always yearning for more...... always looking to find you in THIS place of GRACE!

I would like to start a new thing with this blog that will become a weekly event.

In keeping with my personal theme of GRACE filled JOY..... I give to you

MAKE A DIFFERENCE MONDAY

I have been a long standing fan and listener of K-Love now for a while. This tradition started with them and their listener community sometime last year.... and for me, it has STUCK. It has become something that I look forward to weekly. Something that I always remember..... and look forward to!

If we were to look in the dictionary for the literal meaning of the word GRACE.... you would find something written there similar to this:

"unmerited favor"

Isn't that so true. GRACE.... not something that we ask for.... but rather, something we just receive. An undeserved GIFT!

What better way for us.... as part of the Christian community... to extend a measure of God's GRACE to others than to MAKE A DIFFERENCE in the life of someone else. It's good for those whose lives we touch... and, it's good for our souls!

So what do you say.... Link up with Mr. Linky and share your story. Share your MAKE A DIFFERENCE MONDAY with us.... How have you made a difference in the life of someone today.... or perhaps someone has made a difference for you today....

GRACE....It's Personal...

2011-01-02T17:35:00.000-07:00

I often wonder how I arrive at the places that I do in this life. Perhaps you have shared the same experience in our own life.

The past few weeks have drawn me to a point of deep spiritual thought. A place, that really.... I was longing to be. My heart was craving a spiritual renewal of sorts while my life circumstances danced around the thought.

And so, the journey begins. My own journey really.... but, perhaps yours too. A journey to dig deeper into this thing we call GRACE. To define it. To live it. To be it!

I have to be honest with you and say.... I had no plans to write on the topic of GRACE for even one day. Let alone, choose that very thing as my theme for the new year. So, when I sat here in my office in prayer over the very thought of a new year theme.... and the Lord nudged me. Not once. But, several times.... that GRACE was for me.... I almost cried.

GRACE it is so HUGE. Way bigger than me! Why Lord? Why this topic? Where are you taking me?

In the fifteenth chapter of John we are instructed:

"Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."

Paying close attention to what John wrote I can easily detect that ABIDING in Christ was front and center in his thought process.

And so, this brings me to a point where I must remain. Where I must stay and wait. I must wait upon the Lord and enter into HIS place. ABIDING in Christ is a patient expectancy. It is NOT a wasteful idolness nor an anxious striving.

I'm not a very patient person. Many of you know that about me. But, for those of you who didn't know.... my apologies if I fell short of your expectations. I am working on this area of my life. But, as they say.... Old habits die hard. So as you can well imagine.... waiting is not something that I do well at. And, waiting in a state of discomfort with thoughts of GRACE racing around in my head is even harder than waiting in idle thought.

So, in my time of waiting I asked the Lord for clarification. You know.... I am black and white. I like clear cut answers. In between, "grey" areas bother me. Like really bother me.

Thankfully, my God is in tune with my impatience and my urgency to be in the know. I am sure it will not always be as such. But, for today.... I am thankful that he recognizes my biggest weakness and helps me to over come it with gentle kindness.... and somewhat quick response.

This concept of GRACE was like a puzzle to me. Some pieces fit together. Yet, still some were missing.

Sitting in church this morning and suddenly, those missing pieces begin to fall into place. And, quite nicely if I might say so myself.

Now, I begin to see the picture clearly and now, I begin to see the Lord's plans for me.

At the heart of this life we call Christianity is GRACE. It is the core. It is the center. It is the nucleus. And, without a clear comprehension of GRACE.... we truly have no comprehension of Christianity itself. You see, the entire story of our God is laced with GRACE.

The key for me however.... the missing piece of the puzzle.... was the realization that the first step to receiving GRACE.... lies in brokenness. I must first recognize my broken state. My own crippled state of being. Then and only then am I able to be a recipient of this thing we call GRACE.

And so.... for me, the message becomes clear.

I have shared with you recently that FEAR is what holds me.... and maybe you too... back. From many things. GRACE being one of them.

In a spiritual dry patch I recently prayed:

"Lord break me more
so that...
I might know you more."

God heard that prayer. And further.... he answered that prayer.

And here I sit in a broken state. On my knees... ready to receive HIS GRACE. Ready to receive HIS message of YES.... even though I deserve to be told NO. Ready to receive HIS gift of unmerited favor.... for me.

And so, my journey begins.... A journey of ABIDING in HIM. Receiving HIS GRACE and being filled with JOY!

"For by GRACE you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God."

Ephesians 2:8 ESV

A Year to Remember....

2010-12-31T20:12:00.000-07:00

A Year in Pictures....

Behold the GRACE of our GOD!

Let the journey begin....

About GRACE....

2010-12-30T20:31:00.001-07:00

Normally I like to start out a new blog post with a warm fuzzy. You know.... a feel good of sorts.

But, just for today I am wondering if it would be ok to just get down to business?

Good, I am so glad you approve. And, if you didn't approve.... I apologize. I promise not to take this route too often.

As I mentally prepare myself for the beginning of a new year.... I have to be honest with you and say that I do wonder if my desire for 2011.... the one I put out to you yesterday.... is really bigger than me?

You see, for months now I have wrestled with the whole topic of GRACE... and here I am... naming 2011 the year of GRACE filled JOY. WOW! That's all I can say. Just WOW!

It's not that I don't understand the meaning of GRACE itself. I do. By dictionary terms... I get it. Like totally get it. And, wouldn't it be nice for me if Mr. Webster alone gave meaning to the word GRACE. That would make it so much easier.

But, in my heart.... I know there is so much more to it than a dictionary stamp of approval. There is so much more depth than merely a word on a page.... amongst a long list of other "G" words.

What then, you might ask.... is my issue?

For months I have wracked my brain. Gone back to those Lutheran school days.... sat myself back in that confirmation class.... revisited Luther's Small Chatecism and many other pieces of literature.... anything that might jog my memory. To help me remember. To give me that grasp on the concept of GRACE that I was missing.

But, despite all of my memories revisited.... I was still confused. Still searching deeper. For a meaning. More than Mr. Webster could give me. Still trying to make sense of why this one topic kept coming up for me.... yet it was the one topic I was not really willing to explore.

I realized a while back what my issue was. And I tried to put it on a shelf. It's sort of embarrassing to admit.... it seems like something that I should just know. Yet.... I don't. Or, maybe I do and I just don't see it.

Before I lay my confession down to you I need you to be aware that I have a BA in Speech... and while my emphasis is in Speech Language Pathology.... I had to take a lot of general speech classes to arrive at that point. And, lets just say... SYMANTICS are HUGE for me.... and I do get hung up on words and their meanings. Sometimes so much so that I just cannot get beyond it.

This whole concept of GRACE is one such can't get beyond it situation for me. SYMANTICS is holding me back here. I told you it was embarrassing... and also something that I feel like I should know. I mean surely in all of that Lutheran education it had to be there somewhere. Yet, I come up empty handed when I try to figure out where.

Those of you who know me well know that Thursday is my Bible Study day. And with that always come deep discussions. Thought provoking conversations on topics which really grab at my heart. And, apparantly today it also consisted of me finding a comfort zone with my study partner.... to out myself on the whole topic of GRACE. She knows I struggle here.... she has known. So, this is no surprise to her. But today I just finally laid it all out... opened my mouth and the words freely flowed... despite embarrassment of simply not knowing on my own accord.

What is the key difference between GRACE and FORGIVENESS? What sets them apart?

We receive forgiveness because Christ died on that cross. We receive GRACE for the exact same reason. Both words in their meaning and their depth point to 3 nails and one rugged cross on a craggy hill. Is GRACE more HOLY while FORGIVENESS is more human? Does FORGIVENESS always imply wrong doing while GRACE somehow does not? What? What is it that divides the two? Surely to the human ear the word GRACE is.... well, for lack of a better description.... far more graceful sounding than forgiveness. It's prettier. And, prettier is always good... because, we are messy. Plain and simple.

And so, here I sit.... hung up on SYMANTICS. Struggling to define meaning for this place which I need to rest. This place I have committed to call home for the next year. This place of GRACE. This place of GRACE filled JOY!

So, what about you.... do you have the answer for me? I'm a hard sell on this one and I am on a mission.... a year long mission.... to find the meaning of GRACE. As defined in my heart!

Have I peaked your curiosity too? Come with me then....

I'm lacing up my shoes for an incredible journey.... I would love to have you as my partner along the way.

So what do you say....

Come join me! The journey begins in T-minus 2 days and counting....

A NAME for the YEAR ahead of us.....

2010-12-29T16:19:00.000-07:00

I'm a junkie.... I admit it! Some of you would assume that I love to write... which of course, I do... or I wouldn't be here. But, more than that... I love to read. And, in that confession you must know that there are several blogs that are on my daily list of "must" reads.

YES, it's true.... I do have my routine. And for me, it is a non-negotiable routine. Second in my life only to my family and my daily devotions.

The skating rink was a peaceful quiet this morning. A perfect opportunity to fit in my daily reading... which almost always accompanies my daily moments of quiet time and reflection. In other words.... my daily time with HIM!

Several months ago I stumbled upon the writings of Ann Voskamp and her blog... A Holy Experience. I am drawn to her story. I am drawn to her writing. You see, she writes for me. The common, ordinary, everyday girl.... seeking to live life to the fullest as a child of God.

In her writings today, Ann shares of a tradition she has long had of naming each new year. A theme. For the year. A concept around which we could measure growth. She has upheld this very tradition for 12 years.

The idea is wonderful. Yet, bold!
The idea is simple. Yet, complex!

I like it! I LOVE it!
A lot!

So today, amidst a flurry of errands I had some time to do some personal soul searching. To think about how I could apply this concept to my own life. And further, how could this concept apply to my family.

When I reflect on my own spiritual journey over the past year.... I am forced to ask myself a series of questions: What is it that is holding me back? What is holding me in this place that HE is asking me to abandon? What holds me from having HIM fill me from the inside out? What is it that keeps me... from fully embracing all that HE has planned for me?

I am conservative. You must know that about me. Sometimes ultra-conservative. Sorry if that comes as a surprise to some of you. I do hope that you will love me still the same even with that knowledge. And so, with that.... I am NOT, generally speaking, a risk taker. I much prefer to err on the side of caution. To always play it safe. That is my comfort zone. And, quite frankly.... it's cozy there.

Unfortunately for me.... or maybe you would say fortunately for me... I have two children who have followed in my footsteps and one who clearly has not. Oh NO... you see, my third child.... he has NO fear!

And.... I have SO much!

YES, it's true. This is the very answer to all of those questions I asked myself. FEAR is what holds me back. In this place.... weighing me down like an anchor around my soul.

And so, with that knowledge... an awareness of who I am, whose I am, where I am and where I want to be.... I have chosen a name for 2011 that is most fitting to me.... and my family as well. And hey, maybe even those very close to me too.

For us, 2011 will be the year of GRACE filled JOY!

It's simply beautiful don't you think?

In 2011 I want to humble myself.... to demonstrate a faithful submission to a higher power than myself. One most worthy of my submission. I want to take the time to enjoy HIS GRACE. To live in the JOY of the moment. To fully embrace the blessings which HE bestows upon us. To fully recognize that I am in need of HIS GRACE probably far more than I am in need of extending HIS GRACE. To bow before HIM and to give HIM thanks for a life so wonderously made.

Chris Tomlin so beautifully sings:
"Where you go I'll go...
Where you stay I'll stay...
If you move I'll move...
I will follow you..."

And so, in 2011.... follow I will. With a JOY so marked by HIS GRACE!

And, let this not be a race for me.... but rather, a journey.... filled with lessons and opportunities... For, in HIM there is life everlasting. In HIM there is freedom for my soul. In HIM there is JOY.... unending JOY!

I think I need a new pair of shoes..... because, the journey is about to begin....

And, I cannot wait!

Meet you at the starting line.... T-minus 3 days and counting!

2010-12-28T15:42:00.000-07:00

After a good dose of reality and a bit of perspective..... I have given some serious thought to those nagging things that we all tink about at this time of the year. In fact, I would be willing to stick my neck out and say that perhaps some of you are thinking about this very thing today. And, if not.... perhaps you will be very soon.

RESOLUTIONS

The past week has been a bit of a challenge for me. On many levels. I admit, as I grow older.... and I would like to say wiser too.... I learn more and more about life from an adult perspective. And sometimes, if I am lucky, my God lets me have wonderful experiences which spring forth with further opportunities for growth. Growth in areas never seen before. And, most days.... I thank him for that and yet other days.... I remind myself to NEVER EVER EVER pray that prayer again....

You know, the "break me more, so I might know you more...." prayer.

CHRISTmas has always been one of my most favorite times of the year. I love everything about it.... except for one thing. And, this year was no exception... for that one thing.

You see, amidst all of the decorations and fluff, CHRISTmas seems to be the one time of year to draw out the negative in all of us. The one time of year that many families far and wide experience intense conflict amongst themselves. And, I am NOT proud to admit it.... my very own family is not exempt. As a matter of fact... Our conflict was so ugly this year that it would have left Muhammed Ali offering to give up his ring and gloves to us.

The words were mean. They were hateful. The actions reflected anything but grace.

In past years I have often wondered why this sort of thing always has to happen. And why, for crying out loud.... does it always have to happen at CHRISTmas. And, in the past I have simply just chalked it up to life and left the thought process there.

But, this year was different for me. I found myself spending a lot of one on one time with my God in hopes of gaining a bit of perspective. HIS perspective. NOT my own. Because, as I have come to realize lately.... my perspective can get me into trouble. And... it did!

CHRISTmas... the one time each year that we gather round a manger to rejoice in the birth of the CHRIST child. God's own son... born for you and born for me. HIS Grace.... ours to behold.

In a manger... In Bethlehem. On a cold winter's night. One stable lowly and bare... but oh so much more was born there.

And so, as I think about the new year that lies ahead... I cannot help but to reflect on that manger and the events of that night. And the thought occurs to me... and the reason for the conflict becomes clear.... the only resolution that I need to make...

To fully live clothed in HIS grace. To bloom where I am planted. To see each opportunity as a blessing. To fully embrace the blessings of being a child of God. And.... to extend that same grace. HIS grace... to those around me. Even when we do not see eye to eye. Even when hurtful words are exchanged.

Yes.... This next year, I committ to fully live in the glory of HIS grace. It's warm there... and I think there is no better place to live than in the warm embrace of my loving Savior.

So, what about you? Are you willing to make this same resolution? I challenge you to join me... and together we will grow with God as our guide.... and what a beautiful creation we will be. In HIM there is life and beauty everlasting!

Cheers to a New Year..... and cheers to a year filled with abundant blessings.... blooming in the warmth of his grace-filled embrace!

"From the fullness of His grace we have all received one blessing after another."

John 1:16

PRAY and WAIT....

2010-12-16T20:43:00.000-07:00

As I sat there listening to him preach.... I knew his story came from his heart. It was genuine. It was authentic. And, although it was his story to tell, part of what he shared touched me deeply. Like in the center of my being. That nagging feeling you get at your core as you sit there immersed in the speech. The one that screams "YES, that's for me too..."

The moral of the story was the same for him as it is for me.

GOD HEARS OUR PRAYERS.
and
GOD ANSWERS OUR PRAYERS.

End of story right? WRONG!

In fact, it's only the beginning.

Several weeks ago I found myself struggling. Not in a bad way per se. Just struggling to see HIM. To draw closer to HIM. I referred to it as a spiritual dry spell. Something I am certain is common among many who walk daily with HIM.

It was during this time, this dry time, that I decided to dig a bit deeper in my prayer life. To really search myself and make my requests known to HIM. To call out to HIM in hopes of drawing nearer to him.

You see my friends, nothing was wrong.... I just felt a place at the depth of my heart.... that needed to be filled.

And so.... I prayed. Fervently. Although, not eloquently. Nope. Not me. I'm messy.... remember. And in my messy, broken state my fervent prayer was this....

LORD BREAK ME MORE
so that...
I MAY KNOW YOU MORE!

Seems rather simple yes?

At the time it made sense to me. And trust me when I say... I did NOT stop at praying this very prayer only 1 time. Heck no.... I prayed it several times over the course of a few weeks.

And then I waited....

Because.... That's what you do. You pray and you wait. Anxiously anticipating an answer. And quite frankly, in this situation, I was quite certain the answer would be so beautiful and I would stand in awe of HIS presence.

As I waited I soon began to find comfort that perhaps HE found me BROKEN enough already and I began to reach out to him in other ways. And.... I felt comfortable. Days and nights passd by. And, I dug deeper into my scripture. Always provided with some wisdom from HIS word. Constantly on the lookout for HIS answer to my call.

My dear friends.... I want to share with you....

GOD HEARS OUR PRAYERS.
and
GOD ANSWERS OUR PRAYERS.
and
I would further add that often times HIS idea of a beautiful answer may well not jive with what you may have had in mind.

The answer to my prayer....
LORD BREAK ME MORE
so that
I MAY KNOW YOU MORE.

It came to me by way of my marriage. The one area in my life that I have felt HIS presence the strongest recently. And.... apparantly the one area HE used to draw me closest to HIM.

You see my friends, my marriage is not without fail. My husband and I have struggled with some issues for years. Issues that really hurt a person at their core and issues that really force a person to walk in faith and extend measure upon measure of forgiveness.

And so today.... Once again I have to stand firm in my faith. That, in my broken state.... God has a plan for this trial in my life. And, I am sure that through this obstacle we will find grand opportunities.... To draw closer to HIM. To lean on HIM that much more. And ultimately.... TO KNOW HIM MORE.

I know one thing for sure.... We serve an awesome GOD. And altough darkness may come at night.... JOY comes in the morning. HIS mercies are new every day. And, the most beautiful thing of all my friends....

GOD HEARS OUR PRAYERS.
and
GOD ANSWERS OUR PRAYERS.

So, the moral of the story....

Be VERY CAREFUL what you pray for my friends... because, you just might get it!

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

James 1:2-6 NIV

CHRISTmas JOY!

2010-12-13T20:19:00.001-07:00

It wasn't your typical morning this morning. In fact, it was anything but typical. You see, by 9 am I am always showered and out the door. This morning however, I lay in bed. So did they. Three beautiful children. Sleeping soundly at 9 am. It's a beautiful thing. It's a simple thing.

Making my way to my ofice... for my daily devotion time, I caught a glimpse of the house as I walked down the stairs. Although it is CHRISTmas, things somehow seem different. All in a good way..... of course!

After what seemed like a very tiring end to a somewhat long weekend, I took the much needed opportunity this morning to just spend some time with my God. You know, just me and HIM. One on one time. Quality time. DEVOTION time.

As I sat in my chair, melting into a comfortable position, I soon realized that perhaps recently... I had allowed myself to become consumed by the habits of doing.... rather than being.

Isn't it true that this time of year is probably riskiest for vulnerabilities in this very area.

What I realized in a few short moments however, is that my devotion time... my daily meeting time with my God... is equally as important every day of the year.

My motto for this CHRISTmas season has been to SIMPLIFY.

You see, in past years we ahve spent very litte time at home during the CHRISTmas season. As a matter of fact, we have spent very little time together as a family during the CHRISTmas season in recent years. Our calendar consumed our time. Days and nights filled with committments upon committments. Running from one place to the other. Meeting only in passing for the observation of one thing.... sleep.

Our house always bore witness to our hectic life. (which, despite how I may have felt at the time, had no quality aspects to it at all) Toys and games always scattered about. Laundry piled high begging to be washed. Dinner at McDonalds one night, pizza the next. No family dining ever in sight.

As I came down those stairs this morning, I noticed but one thing. Life is indeed simpler this year. Our house is filled with CHRISTmas JOY! A JOY that has been absent from this season for quite some time.

This CHRISTmas season we have emptied our calendars. Our committments are few. Our love for time spent together as a family continues to grow daily. Each night we gather together around the table to share our thoughts from the day. There are NO huge piles of laundry unattended and each toy and game has its' place. Our house reflects JOY. Pure. JOY.

And, what is the key difference?

We have made a shift to put CHRIST as the center of our home. To let HIS love and grace permiate our lives from the inside out. A shift from a life of doing.... into a more fulfilling life of being.

Being what?.... you might ask....

BEING Content.
BEING filled with JOY.
BEING alive in HIM.
BEING fully aware of HIS grace.
BEING the children of God that he created us to be.
BEING filled with HIM.

We live for today..... for tomorrow has no guarantees.

In this life we have found simplicity. We have found that CHRISTmas JOY.

So, are you missing that JOY? A JOY so full that you feel as though you are overflowing? Perhaps you should take a moment to SIMPLIFY. Take some time to just sit with your God. And, talk. One on one time. Devotion time. And, as you do, let him consume you and fill your heart with JOY!

So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then JOY will accompany him in his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun.

Ecclesiastes 8:15 NIV

WORDS! and.... A GIVEAWAY!

2010-12-08T20:53:00.002-07:00

WORDS!

Have you ever taken any amount of time to simply reflect on that one thing?

They are everywhere. Written in books. Written in newspapers. Written on bill boards. Sung by people in praise. Uttered by mouths around the globe.

WORDS!

A glimpse into your day. A simple hello. A revelation into your story. Happiness. Sadness. Smiles. Tears. Trials. Tribulations. Success. Triumphs.

WORDS!

Drama on a stage. Fiction in a book. Blogs. Diaries. Wisdom. Hope. Inspiration.

WORDS!

Written on paper. Signed by our hands. Sung by our mouths. Spoken by our actions.

WORDS!

The single most powerful tool in all of human nature. So very powerful that even Mr. Makita might be jealous. Yet, the one thing we all take for granted.

WORDS!

The single most important tool we are blessed with as Christians. The one thing that we are given by HIM. To use for HIM. To bear witness to HIS name. To tell his story....through our story!

WORDS!

The single most valuable thing so many of us fail at.....with our gossip and judgements. We lose sight of their value and their merit.

WORDS!

As much as I would love to run 1000 miles in the other direction of this topic.... I cannot. Everywhere I go and in everything I read I am forced to face it head on.

Forced to face the reality of my own shortcomings. My own mis-givings. My own faults. Forced to be accountable for the one thing I use the most often....and, the one thing I misuse equally as often.

WORDS!

I have recently discovered a new Christian author whose writing.....whose WORDS.... speak to me personally. One would think it's as if I called her up one day and said, "Lysa, can you write a book about me?" and, she humbly abliged. I mean, I am sure that her words speak to others as well. I'm just not sure they speak to them quite as loudly as they may speak to me.

In her book, Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl... she writes about words and the profound effect they have on our everyday lives. And, how they impact the lives of others around us.

Lysa suggests:

"Women (and I will add men to this as well) who are more than good Bible study girls/boys are so secure in their relationships with Jesus that the graceful way they interact with others makes following HIM look appealing. People can trust their Jesus because they have proven themselves to be trustworthy. Their witness for Christ is powerful and effective because their words are saturated with his authentic love. Now this is a person that other people want to be around."

And so, I look in that mirror and I ask myself one question, "Is this me?" Because really, this is who I want to be.

I realize however, that I fail at this task sometimes...despite my best intentions. Despite my best attempts. And then, I glance back in that mirror and I see the image of one word. One thing. The word is GRACE.

On a normal day I would probably tell you that the entire idea of GRACE is scary to me. Scary not because I don't understand. (Aren't most fears based upon the unknown?) But, because I do. A word so small.... only 5 letters to be exact. (please hold your captain obvious comments here) So small in space... so large in meaning. Particularily for me and my life.

You see, with GRACE on my side I can look in that mirror with confident reassurance that even when I mess up (and some days are really messy for me).... There is nothing this side of Heaven that can ever separate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus. And in that mirror reflection... I not only see his GRACE but also, his forgiveness. For me. For my WORDS. For my messy ways.

As a blog writer, I even struggle with my words that I share with you here in this cyber home of mine. You see, for me.... it's not all sunshine and roses in the writing department. No, in fact.... many days I wrestle to simply have a topic to share.

There are several blogs that I regularily follow. Some because they are visually attractive and other because their written words are worth their weight in gold.

Holley Gerth is one such blogger. Her words inspire me and often times cause me to think on deep levels.

In her blog, Heart to Heart with Holley, she also speaks on the subject of words this week. See, I told you I could not escape it. I am surrounded by this very subject a lot lately. Holley writes:

"Listen to the whisper of the word of God before loosing your words. Prayer ALWAYS before pen; bent knees before open lips. All the words that give life are birthed in the nursery of the knees."

PROFOUND!

WORDS!

And so my friends.... here I am at a point of further reflection. And, as I bend those knees and bow my head, you know, before I speak... before I write... I say but one thing. THANK YOU! Thank you Lord for your GRACE. GRACE for my WORDS. You know, when they get messy.

And I pray....

"May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:14 NLT

***Are you interested in the book I spoke of in this blog post? You can win it simply by leaving a comment in the comments section of this post.

And, as an added bonus, one more blog reader will receive any jewelry item..... valued up to $25.00 from Beki at THE RUSTED CHAIN. You can peek at her site here... http://therustedchain.bigcartel.com/

So, go ahead.... leave your comment. And be entered to win. Comments will be closed on Friday evening at 10 pm mountain time!

Two winners will be drawn by random drawing..... by some really cute kids I know....

Winners will be notified by email. ***

What Kind of Gift Can I Bring....

2010-12-07T12:36:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot about gifts lately. You know, something about this time of year.... December... that always jogs my thought process. On the topic of gifts.

I know a lot of people who put far less thought into the topic than I do. I mean really, they make their list and head out to the stores. It makes me kind of jealous when I think about it. When I think about how easy it is for others. While they are checking things off their list one by one... I still struggle with where to begin.

Is it that the task really is so complicated? Or, is it that I really just don't get it?

OR...

Do I? And perhaps.... just maybe, that is what muddies the waters for me.

I often think about the wise men. Like, how they felt. Deep down inside.... what was going on in their minds. How is it that they arrived at the decision to bring gifts of Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh? I wonder if they spent a lot of time in deep thought. Pondering the very question that is on my mind.

What kind of gift is GOOD enough to lay before the KING?

Christina Rosetti once wrote:

"What can I give him
Poor as I am.
If I were a shepherd
I would bring him a lamb.
If I were a wise man
I would do my part."

Here I sit wondering what it is that I could bring... you know, to the manger... for the KING. And, let me remind you that HE isn't just any KING. HE is the KING of KINGS.

JESUS is the REASON for this SEASON!

This very thought has consumed my being lately. But... I think I have arrived at a conclusion. At least, one that works for me. And, I think it will work for you too.

I am certain you haven't given much thought to the fact that that baby in the manger has a CHRISTmas wish too! It's true. HE does! And, it is the one thing that I can give to Him. The only thing He desires.

Christina Rosetti finishes her poem by saying:

"Yet what can I give him
I give him my heart."

That's all my KING asks of me. To give him my heart. And how beautiful... that in doing so, I can come to Him as I am. With all my broken pieces. Cause, let's face it... we're all a little messy, aren't we?

So, what do you say this CHRISTmas season? Don't you have room in your heart for HIM?

I know I do... as a matter of fact, HE fills my heart this CHRISTmas season.

Yes indeed... HE is the REASON for this SEASON!

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."

Psalm 51:10

All I WANT for CHRISTmas......

2010-12-02T13:40:00.000-07:00

What do you want for CHRISTmas? What's on your list this year? A very common question this time of year. Not at all unusual or out of the ordinary.

I have been asked this very question a lot lately.

So here we are, the beginning of December. A perfect time to put up a CHRISTmas tree. An annual event in households all across the world.

I have often spoken about the differences in our childhood's. Mine and my husband's. Well, as you can imagine....CHRISTmas traditions were different for us as well. Growing up, we always had an aritificial tree. He always had a live tree. The Charlie Brown type....to be exact. We had all white lights. He had colored lights that flashed on and off in a peculiar rhythm. His house always had stockings that were hung by the chimney with care. In my house....that same mantle was bare.

So, as you might imagine..... when we were married, some 16 years ago, a bit of compromise was necessary to make this season happen. He got a live tree (despite my awful allergies to pine). I got all white lights. The NON blinking kind. Thankyouverymuch! Happiness all around.

That left but one thing still needing to be negotiated. The mantle. Remember, the stocking part? Yeah....that's the one.

While I don't ever recall the placement of stockings in our house, I do recall.... very vividly... the placement of something else.

{ THE NATIVITY SET }

You see, we had no stockings so the mantle may have appeared bare to some. EXCEPT... right there in the center was our reminder for the season.

A stable. A manger. Mary. Joseph. 3 Wise guys. Shepherds. 1 Angel. and.... JESUS!

Tonight is the night. The very night that the Philben five will venture out in search of that tree. That PERFECT, live tree. ( Tomorrow is the day. That very day... that my allergies to pine will kick into full gear). I'm excited. Really! About all of it.

This year is a bit different for me. It's that perspective thing again. It's changed. It seems to keep coming up for me everywhere and in everything that I do.

Tonight, as we bring that tree into our house I will have the opportunity to really look at it in all of it's glory. (you know, as I tell him..... move it left, no more to the right...no no, more that way. ok yeah that's good!) All of that aside.... one thing remains for me. Underneath it all... when you strip those branches away... stands a CROSS. A wooden CROSS. A poignant reminder that at the heart of it all is JESUS. HE is the REASON for this SEASON.

And then there is the placement of the nativity. The more I think about it.....the more I am convinced that the perfect placement for that manger...... is at the foot of the cross. At the base of that evergreen tree.

The heart of the season really.... From a TREE to a CROSS.

YES indeed it is true! JESUS is the reason for this SEASON.

NO other gifts required!

And so, in thinking...... what do I want for CHRISTmas? The answer is simple. NOTHING. I have all that I need. And, that is simply good enough for me!

{ 30 Days of THANKS } Day 30

2010-11-30T19:16:00.002-07:00

With Thanksgiving behind us for the year I find myself having been thrust... In rapid fast forward fashion.... Straight into the season of advent. The season of CHRISTmas!

For many, this really is a retail season. Filled with hustle and bustle. Rushing fom one retail establishment to another in hurried fashion, in search of that perfect gift for that special someone.

I used to be that person. Consumed with materialistic aspects of this season. To me, it was about getting... just as much as it was about giving. I would spend countless hours in varying stores, spending more money than I would normally spend in a span of 6 months. But, we always had a tree full of gifts. Gifts for everyone. No room was ever left.... And, the loot often would spill over to the floor, the couches and the tables in the room. To me.... This equaled LOVE. In my case, less was not more. I wanted it all. I guess you could say in some ways..... It was all about me!

And so, in our annual fashion, my husband and I sent our children on their merry way after stuffing them with Thanksgiving turkey. This, in preparation for the "BIG" day. You know... Black Friday! The day when greedy retailers hope to turn their books from red to black. To lure you into their stores with presumed bargains galore.

It has long been our tradition to shop for our children on this day. And, this year was no different in that regards. And so, we put ourselves to bed early so we could rise early. After all, the early bird gets the worm. Right?

But it wasn't all the same this year. You know, as it had been in previous years. You see, for me.... My perspective has changed.

Over the past few months I have come to realize so much about how truly blessed I am in the here and the now. I am working diligently to be content in any circumstance.

As I watched people that day I was able to fully recognize the face of greed. People consumed in a materialistic world. Consumed with one thing.... themselves! Standing in line after line I was witness to more than one person who was a reflection of myself. My PAST self. The me who thought only about me. The entitled me. The grumpy Black Friday me.

The whole experience was enlightening really. Further confirmation to the me... in the here and now... that those are the images of something and somebody that I will forever strive NOT to be.

In the here and the now I live for today. I live for one thing. HIM. At the end of the day I want to lay my head on my pillow with sheer confidence that I have done all that I can to fulfill his will for me that day. I don't want my thoughts to be consumed by materialistic wealth of this world. I only want to be consumed with thoughts of HIM and HIS unconditional love for me.

I looked out my office window today only to catch a glimpse of one thing. Well two actually. A sheep. and. A wooden stable. Now, I am fairly sure that my physical house is not in any little town of Bethlehem. Of this I am confident. But.... my heart, this advent season, this CHRISTmas season.... is in Bethlehem. An old wooden stable. A reminder for me. That with all of the hustle and bustle of the season. All of the commercialism and propaganda, there is but one gift. One single gift. That is all I need. A baby. A savior. Emmanuel. God with us. Born for you. Born for me. In the cold of the night. Under one star. In one single stable. The best gift of all. Wrapped in swaddling clothes. JESUS CHRIST.

HE is the reason for THIS season!

And so, won't you journey with me to Bethlehem? Won't you follow that star? Are you willing to set it all aside and risk having a JOY so deep in your heart that you want to "GO TELL IT ON THE MOUNTAIN?"

The journey starts NOW!

A voice of one calling:

"In the desert prepare the way for the Lord; make staight in the wilderness a highway for our God. Every valley shall be raised up, every mountain and hill made low; the rough ground shall become level, the rugged places a plain. And the glory of the Lord will be revealed, and all mankind together will see it. For the mouth of the Lord has spoken."

Isaiah 40:3-5 NIV

{ 30 Days of THANKS } Day 28

2010-11-28T18:05:00.000-07:00

The past few days have rendered me SPEECHLESS.

Literally.

I will admit that it has been a little annoying. I mean, in terms of communicating and all.

Over the past few months I have done a lot of thinking about the concept of being content in whatever the circumstance.

Some people might find it difficult to be content when they cannot even speak. Right?

For me however, it is an opportunity for self reflection and growth. Growth in my ~~somewhat~~ really uncomfortable state of being content in all circumstances.

In the book of Philippians Chapter 4, verse 11-13, Paul writes:

"I have learned to be content whatever the circumstance. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of what it is to be content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength"

Words to live by. At least they are for me.

HARD words to live by.

But...

Achievable words to live by too.

As I sat in church this morning, feeling a bit like Helen Keller........ all I could do was to listen. And....observe.   Observe others as they praised our God in song.

It nearly killed me. But it also made me realize just how much we take certain things for granted.

Someone once asked me...... "If you were told you had to choose to be either deaf or blind, which would you choose?"

Personally, I hope I am never faced with that question. Because really.....I don't want to give up either.

I need ears to hear HIM.  I need eyes to see HIM. and.... I need a voice to praise HIM.

What I realize is that everyday (except the past 4) I have all three of these basic life qualities.   I can hear. I can see. and.... I can praise. So, do I?

Am I making the most of all that I have been blessed with? Because really, there are those out there who cannot hear. Who cannot see. and.... who cannot praise with their voice.

I think sometimes as Christians we become very complacent to all that we really do have. We take for granted the most basic of tasks.....as if we are entitled to them. We fail to see the full value in a voice. Or in the ability to hear. Or the ability to see. It takes something happening for us to truly realize that what we have is a gift. Something we have been given to use....to glorify HIM.

Each day we are given divine opportunities to use each one of these gifts. We are given opportunities to listen. You know, like the friend who calls and just needs an ear. Yep, the one we said we were too busy to talk to. We have opportunities to see. How many times today did you take the time to just pause and be aware of your surroundings? To see the wonders of our awesome God. We have opportunities for praise.

Each day our God blesses us with 86,400 seconds. That's 86,400 opportunites to listen to his call. To see his presence and to praise his name. 86,400 opportunities to be thankful for the blessings that we have. 86,400 opportunities to live content.....regardless of the circumstance.

Today is the day my friend. Carpe Diem. Sieze the day. Live in the moment. One of those 86,400 moments.

What are you waiting for.... you still have time left. To seize the moment.

What are you going to do with it?

{ 30 Days of THANKS } Day 25

2010-11-25T12:37:00.000-07:00

So....TODAY is THE Day!

Right?

Our day to give THANKS!

The 1 day in 365 that almost EVERYONE pauses to say THANK YOU for something!

A few weeks ago my daughter presented me with a note.....

Never before have I seen this child express a level of gratitude to this degree. I mean, she even said THANK YOU for her brothers. You know, the ones she beats up...and tattles on....and complains about almost daily.

It brought tears to my eyes really. You see, that note was confirmation to me...as a mom....that I REALLY have done something right here. We are genuinely on the right track here.....and for that I am THANKFUL!

Then....my little kid. You know, the 3 year old. Yeah, him. He came cheerfully running out of school the other day with this....

Three years ago this child lay in an isolette in a hospital NICU. A mere 2 pounds or so.....give or take a few. Attached to many many wires. Fed by a tube. Barely able to be touched. As a matter of fact, we were not even sure he would be here with us today. And now....he is suggesting that I do NOT hunt...TURKEYS that is. And personally, I think it is just PERFECT! His first real ART creation. For me. Yep, I cried!

And the big kid....I guess he is too old for Thanksgiving projects at school. Kinda breaks my heart really. So instead he peeled potatoes for me today. Well, it really wasn't peeling...he more like carved nice creations into them. Thankfully they all cook the same and I am going to mash them anyway!

Even though I don't get cute little things from him this year..... I stand in awe of him anyway. He is maturing nicely. Into a nice young man. And, someday....he will bring me art work again. Of this I am sure. It will be cool again one day. But for today I will just have to admire his potato creations instead.

And today....this THANKSGIVING Day....I also get to wish my wonderful husband the Happiest of Birthdays! I think he mumbled something about being 29 again this morning. Not really sure how he plans to achieve that but I sure am willing to sit back and watch while he tries. He is by far the best husband and father that I have ever known. I am so incredibly blessed with him in my life. Even if he currently thinks it best to mash potatoes 35 minutes before the turkey is done. It's the little things..... that make me smile really.

So today is about families. And friends. And blessings.

I have so many!

So for all of you...... and you..... and you and you and you....

THANK YOU!

Have a BLESSED Thanksgiving!

{ 30 Days of THANKS } Day 22

2010-11-22T20:50:00.003-07:00

I think I have shared with you that, growing up, my husband and I were raised at opposite ends of the spectrum with regards to church and religion.

I remember being at the church nearly daily. It's true....I went to a Lutheran School so I had a bit of an advantage. But, only a little bit. Well, maybe more like an everyday advantage because we started our school day every morning in the sanctuary. It was a large part of our life and many of our social activities took place right there.....at church.

My husband on the other hand...spent time at church on Christmas and Easter. You know, traditional times of the year that most people find appropriate to visit the church. He did not spend his every waking moment memorizing Bible verse after Bible verse. He didn't have to take religion tests and surely his family did not find their social life.....at church.

When we started dating....with a gentle nudge, he would accompany my family to church on Sunday. He further wooed me by attending Sunday night youth group as my "friend." Now I want you to know that at no point during our initial dating phase did I ever feel like he did these things to impress me. NEVER. I mean, how wrong would that be of me?

So, we continued to date and he continued to follow us to church....on Sunday. And really, that's where it ended because Monday was a new day. We never talked about a so called "spiritual" life together and we certainly never discussed the sermon. Church was left....well, at church.

When the time came for us to begin looking for a place to get married, I casually mentioned the probability of being married in a church where we might just call our "spiritual" home. He began to TWITCH. I could tell that it genuinely made him nervous and he could tell that it genuinely gave me sadness to have thoughts of abandoning something so near and dear to me.

Compromise. It's a good thing. We visited several churches. Met with several pastors and attended too many services to count on all of your fingers and toes combined. Finally we reached a decision. Someplace where he could feel comfortable...you know, in all of his "I'm going to church" discomfort. And, someplace where I truly felt I could be spiritually fed.

The wedding was beautiful and the setting was perfect. Yes indeed we had chosen just the "right" place for us. Over time his discomfort began to wear away and he found a way to find comfort in going to church.

He found this through service. NO, not attending services. Well, I mean....he did that too. But, he found a way to SERVE. To somehow make himself a part of this community. He had talent to share and they had a need. It was a great fit.

For years you could always find him behind a sound board on Sunday morning. I was not complaining. Hey, afterall, I just wanted him to attend....remember?

It still remained however, that church was a Sunday thing that stayed at Church. Not to be confused with a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday thing that remained in our hearts.

Three years ago when I fell away from the church it was an easy transition for him. Church up to this point was a job of sorts for him. He was not at all spiritually effected by the absence in our life. In fact, I think he rather enjoyed sleeping in on Sunday mornings and then there is that football thing. And yeah, it worked for him. Remember the Sabbath...keep it holy. He always found holey socks on Sunday. Me, on the other hand....I was not amused. In fact, the longer time went on, the more spiritually starved I began to feel.

And so, recently, I made a personal decision to cure that hunger. Whether or not he came with me for the ride. Trust me, that was a HARD decision to make.

Several weeks ago a friend casually mentioned to me that perhaps I should take notice of the fact that my husband was "watching" me. I told her she was nuts. I had been given no indication of such things and so I pretty much down played the entire thing. NO, actually, I not only down played it....I down right ignored it and almost laughed at the thought.

Although, secretely, I hoped that perhaps she was right.

Recently, I have been able to gain a whole new perspective on that old wives tale of "it's better to give than to receive." And so, I have found great joy in giving. And in doing so, I have also found our God to be showering me abundantly with blessings. Several weeks ago I felt a tug on my heart to make a monthly financial contribution to a christian organization. Being that I am married and all, I found it only appropriate to consult with him first. Much to my surprise....he agreed. DONE.

Maybe that friend of mine was right afterall. I was hopeful. For years it was my hope that church would be more than a Sunday thing. Maybe just maybe this could be a real possibility. You know, like something within actual reach. Achievable. But...I am not going to get too excited. Cause you know, I still think maybe she is nuts in her perception here.

I needed to go to the Christian bookstore that day. I was on a mission. He agreed to accompany me. You know, like he did all those Sundays to church. I found what I was looking for and decided to take a gander over to the Bible section. My soul was longing for a new Bible...Hey, it sounds good right? Really, I had a hankering for something new. Something exciting. It has been years since I had ever set eyes on a new Bible. I had a great time looking and oooo and awwwwing. As I sat there in my own little world for a moment, consumed by all things me. Which equates to my desires at the moment....I noticed him out of the corner of my eye. Sitting on the floor not 10 feet away from me....with a Bible in his hand.

"Be still and know that I am God..." The verse ran through my head. My attention quickly turned from the pages of that Bible I was holding to the heart of the man holding the Bible next to me. Awe. Shere Awe.

Anyway, we left that day....with a new Bible. For ME. I was thrilled with our purchase but even more thrilled with what God had shown me right there on the dirty floor.

We had a few more errands to run that day so we spent some time in the car. It wasn't Sunday. But....we had a great conversation about God. He was present. He was real and I was so blessed to be in his presence.

Answered prayers.

Over the coming weeks I made it part of my daily routine to pray for my husband. I also continued to give to others with no expectations of ever receiving anything in return. The blessings continued to come and I patiently waited for God to show me more of his direction for our marriage in way of church and giving and being blessed.

My phone rang today...

"Honey, was there a food bank collection at school this year?"

"Yes there was, they did it a lot earlier than normal."

"Did we participate?"

"No dear, I missed it because it was not at the normal time."

"I think we need to make a phone call..."

"OK?"

"WE NEED TO GIVE!"

I had a single phone call today...

ANSWERED PRAYER!

"Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

Philippians 1:6

{ 30 Days of THANKS } Day 21

2010-11-21T16:54:00.000-07:00

As we enter into this week of Thanksgiving I urge you to focus on diligently giving THANKS for all that you have been blessed with.....

So many will go without this year......yet, we have been so blessed. So, for this Sunday before Thanksgiving I thought that it would be fun....and a bit on the lighter side, to list for you:

THIRTY THINGS OF THANKS FOR THIS WEEKEND.....

Listed for you in of course.....random order!

- SUNSHINE
- WARMTH
- FRIENDS WHO MAKE YOU LAUGH
- PARENTS WHO CARE ABOUT YOU
- A HUSBAND WHO WORKS HARD FOR THIS FAMILY SO WE CAN ENJOY THE THINGS WE DO
- THE INTERNET
- FORGIVENESS FOR DAYS WHEN I AM GRUMPY AND LOSE SIGHT OF HIM
- FOOD
- THE ABILITY TO SLEEP IN
- BETH MOORE AND HER WRITINGS
- KINDLE
- BIRTHDAY PARTIES
- STARBUCKS
- PEACE
- 3 HOURS TO SHOP FOR MY HUSBAND AND BEST FRIEND'S BIRTHDAY
- A NEW HOME PHONE
- HEAT IN MY HOUSE
- 3 BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN WHO KEEP ME YOUNG EVERY DAY
- MY BIBLE
- 2 FURRY, LOVEABLE PUPS
- GREAT NEIGHBORS
- HEALTH
- GRACE
- PINK HIGHLIGHTERS
- CUTE CARDS
- MERCY
- BLOGGER
- CHRISTMAS MUSIC
- PANDORA
- DAILY DEVOTIONS

When we focus our hearts on being THANKFUL we more readily are able to see the abundant blessings around us....

What about you? What are your THIRTY THINGS for this weekend??

{ 30 Days of THANKS } Day 19

2010-11-19T16:02:00.000-07:00

The alarm went off and I stumbled out of bed. Still tired from a late night before, I made my way around the bed to shut the blasted thing off. I glanced at my children....sleeping soundly in this space....I glanced at the clock. 6:30. Last I had seen its' illumination the time read 4:47. I glanced at my pillow. Two seconds of thought and I crawled back in. To bed that is.

As I lay there in the stillness a flood of thoughts came over me. Overwhelming thoughts inhibiting my body from the ability to once again sleep.

WIDE AWAKE. STILLNESS. ME. HIM. and... TWO OF THEM.

A simple prayer to clear my head.... "Oh God you know my friend.... she's in surgery right now. Please watch over her. Guide the hands of the doctors and let her rest in the comfort of your peace."

Mind and body still not in synch. A myriad of thoughts still racing around. Sleep no where on the horizon.

WIDE AWAKE. STILLNESS. ME. HIM. and... TWO OF THEM.

"Oh God and about that other friend of mine.... She's hurting Lord. Please guard her heart. Keep her safe from the things that are all around her. Let her feel your embrace. Give me the wisdom to help her through this. Show me your ways Lord and I will answer your call."

A shooting glance at the clock on the nightstand. Cognicant recognition of the time. A few more minutes. That's all I need, just a few more minutes. My mind keeps racing. Sleep. Just a few more minutes please.

WIDE AWAKE. STILLNESS. ME. HIM. and... TWO OF THEM.

"Remember my other friend Lord? He's grieving today. Please wipe away his tears. Bring comfort to his family as they say their hard good-bye's. Watch over them and be close. Love on them Lord. Let them feel your presence."

THOUGHTS. RACING. 100 MILES a minute in my head. Sleep is not happening. The clock is staring me in the face. A reminder that it's time to start my day.

WIDE AWAKE. STILLNESS. ME. HIM. and... TWO OF THEM.

"And Lord...just one more thing. That friend of ours in Iowa, she's scared. She feels helpless as she looks over her daughter who lies in a hospital bed....recovering from being hit by a car. She needs you today too. So can you give her peace and comfort. Give her strength Lord to remain strong for her child."

The routine. It's time. For the daily routine. You know... Get up. Get dressed. Eat breakfast. Brush teeth. Sign folders. Fix hair. Tie shoes. Out the door. It's a school day routine.

I'm tired. I don't have it in me to give. Strength. Must find strength. Surely it's around here somewhere.

Drop off. DONE!

WIDE AWAKE. STILLNESS. ME. HIM.

"Oh and just one more thing Lord. About me. About this morning. I'm feeling pretty broken. Feeling pretty worn out. I don't know how I can manage this day. I need YOU now."

He came home last Friday. Skating competition. Mounds of laundry. Games with kids. Brief quality times. And....he was gone again. Just like that.

Brief phone calls. Just enough to hear his voice. "I love you!" He says with each call. "I'll see you soon..." And then....the good-bye.

"I miss him Lord. My heart aches for him. Be near me Lord. I am weak. I am broken. And, I need you now."

As my thoughts begin to race again...my mind grows more weary and my pity party starts to take on beautiful form.

"What Lord?" "What is your plan for me in this?" "Show me your presence. Show me your will. Just show me....and I will follow you."

School. Lunchtime. Thanksgiving lunch to be exact. Tears. Of sadness for his absence. Of joy for HIS blessings. Eyes opened to all that HE has blessed us with.

- Beautiful hands that labored to provide nourishment for 800 children and their families.

- Teachers who nurture my kids for eight hours a day. Claiming them as their own.

- Playground attendants who run to greet my three year old just because of his contagious smile.

- 6th grade boys in deep conversation about cute girls.

- laughter that fills the room.

- smiling faces of kids eager to play.

- 2nd grade girls running to the monkey bars.

- Joy. Childlike, innocent JOY!

So many blessings. Abundant blessings. MINE. From HIM. He wipes the tears that stream down my face. An instant feeling of HIS presence. Surrounding me. Holding me in HIS arms. Today and ALWAYS.

"So one more thing Lord...... about me. About today. I am broken. I am weak. I am tired. But, I am yours Lord. A sheep in your flock. You speak and I hear your voice. So today Lord... I give this all to you. It's too big for me. And I know that you can handle it. You are GOOD to me like that. You can handle ANYTHING. and.....you certainly don't need my help.

I waited patiently for the LORD;

he turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit,

out of the mud and mire;

HE SET MY FEET ON A ROCK

AND GAVE ME A FIRM PLACE TO STAND.

Psalm 40:1-2 NIV

{ 30 Days of THANKS } Day 18

2010-11-18T20:32:00.000-07:00

I got a lot of emails today. Everyday really. But today I had one that just hit a funny bone with me. I mean, I know this exists because I have seen it before but when you see it in an email while riding down the road in a friend's car......well yeah, it's just that much more funny....

THE PEOPLE OF WALMART!

Have you seen them? I mean.....really? This cannot be real....RIGHT? Surely people don't really, like with ignorant intent go out in public like this....OK, they do.

Regardless of the motive....It ALWAYS makes me laugh. Like really laugh. For long periods of time... and then I cannot focus on things like Bible Study. Cause you know, today is THURSDAY...Bible Study day. Only took me roughly 45 minutes to be able to refocus and look into the word... and be able to look at my friend again without seriously busting a gut.

Man I LOVE my Thursdays....and my emails....and laughing at the people of Walmart.

I digress....

Have you ever wondered what you might see if someone created a website called....
http://www.thepeopleofgod.com/? What kind of pictures might we see there? Yours? Mine?

You see, living as a Christian means always living under the microscope of our society's pre-imposed judgements of what that looks like. Our society imposes a legalistic approach to a very non-legalistic lifestyle. Society sets forth a preformed diagram of Christianity. An algebraic equation of sorts. A + B = C. A (good works) + B ( a whole lot of sound good talk...with very little action ) = C ( Our immediate golden ticket to heaven ). It is assumed, with this equation as the ideal model for a Christian life, that if we do not do these things we are headed straight for down under. Those who come from this school of thought.....the equation school, assume then that being a Christian makes one perfect. Or....means that Christians should act perfect.

www.thepeopleofGod.com ... I bet it would look a whole lot like you....and me....and him....and her too. People seeking to live out a life obedient to HIS calling. Coming to HIM broken and in pieces asking for HIS unconditional love to help us merely survive in our "conditional" world. A finite people seeking to glorify an infinite God. People seeking to glorify HIM above all else. Setting aside selfish ambitions for the perfect work of the King. People just like you and me.....not perfect....just forgiven.

I am so thankful to serve a God who accepts the mess that I am. Imposing no equations on me. In my weakness he is made strong....and personally....I like it this way. Because, MY GOD ROCKS!

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."

2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV

{ 30 Days of THANKS } Day 17

2010-11-17T12:34:00.005-07:00

I sat there glancing at my calendar. Preparing in advance for all that the week ahead held. One single day stood out at me. A day with absolutely nothing written on it. Not one single plan A perfect opportunity to embrace some down time.

"How can this be?" I thought to myself. I quickly picked up the phone and began down the list. The FRIEND list. Surely someone would want to fill this space. After several attempts I finally had a winner. Someone to fill the space. To round out my week. To make it complete. Now that day wouldn't be empty and my week was filled. To the brim!

VICE PRESIDENT of the PTA
DIRECTOR OF COMMUNICATIONS- Help Heal the Children
COMMITTEE CHAIR- Cub Scouts
TEAM MOM- Baseball
TEAM PHOTOGRAPHER- Baseball
and the list went on....

I had titles. A LOT of them. I was important. My life was full. Every day on that calendar committed to someone or something. I was popular. I mean, who wouldn't be with all those titles. Everywhere I went I was sure to run into somebody that I knew. I felt needed and it felt good.

And so, I continued to do all those things and taking on more. Volunteering for committee after committee filling that calendar up day by day.

I was the MOM who could do it all. Clean house, fresh baked goods for my family when they walked in the door. Cute litte art activities and a lot of popularity amongst my peers. I loved to start my day at the gym. To socialize. Build upon that "perfect" mom theory even more. I was willing to pay large sums of money to build upon this theory. And I did....for years. Starbucks, Sweet Tomatoes, Sushi, Friends...a life full of happiness and contentment.

A husband who sat patiently watching from the sidelines quietly begging for just one day. One hour. One moment. To do NOTHING. To sit. To ENJOY. LIFE!

Kids begging to play outside. For more than 30 minutes in between committments. To just be kids. Ride bikes. Play hide and seek. To simply have friends. To know how to play.

A mom consumed by the things which defined her. A calendar full of defining moments. A family waiting. Watching. In the background.

In Luke 10:38-42 we read the pointed story of two sisters:

"As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat a the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparatoins that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.""

I looked at that calendar again today. The one from just a year ago. It made me sad really. A calendar full of meetings, appointments, lunch dates etc... A calendar full of the "things" which I felt defined me. Materialistic things from this world. A clear definition of who I WAS.

MARTHA!

I cried for a moment when I thought about that one day. You know, the one that had nothing written on it? The one that was the perfect opportunity for down time.

A PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO BE MARY! TO SIT AT MY GOD'S FEET AND SPEND TIME WITH HIM.

A MISSED opportunity. Missed to my own selfish desires to grow this kingdom of mine. My EMPIRE of pride. The world "all about me!"

Oh my how my eyes were closed to something so good. I was blind to the pure joy and peace which comes from sitting at the feet of my Savior. Ignorant to all that HE was asking of me. It is simple really. HE doesn't ask for much....Just a RELATIONSHIP with HIM. SIMPLE! BRILLIANT!

A relationship with the one who can provide for all of my needs. In this world and in my heavenly home above.

So, as I glance at my calendar a year later I am thankful for HIS GRACE. That HE stood by me while I continued on my Martha quest. Patiently HE has waited for me to sit with HIM like Mary. To talk with HIM. To walk with HIM. To have a RELATIONSHIP with HIM.

My calendar has lots of empty days now. Days and hours that I prefer to spend with HIM. Because, regardless of what FACEBOOK says, HE is the ONLY friend I need. I like to meet HIM in the morning at the kitchen table. I love our mid morning talks we have over good and bad times. I cherish our lunches together and I especially love that HE rides in the car with me everywhere that I go. I see HIM for dinner every night and at bedtime too. There is never a place that I go that HE isn't there with me.

THIS is what defines me!

HE defines me!

Mary- A humble heart sitting at the foot of the Savior to be self absorbed in her relationship with her Father.

MARY- A role model for me...a soul lost to the sins of a crooked and twisted generation.

MARY- She's who I WANT to be!

What about you? Won't you join me at HIS feet? Take a load off. Sit for a while......

{ 30 Days of THANKS } Day 15

2010-11-15T14:49:00.002-07:00

Sometimes you just need a day off. From school that is. Right? Big people call those MENTAL HEALTH DAYS.

So today, I decided to aid in protecting my children's MENTAL HEALTH. Hey, every now and then I like to be cool like that. But really, the alarm didn't go off. Because uh someone forgot to turn it on....So, it was meant to be!

But, they didn't just get to stay home. They still had to work. We did a lot of talking today too. About being THANKFUL. About being content with what we have. About wanting for nothing. About loving who we are. About trusting HIM.

We did a "HOMESCHOOL" sort of thing. A trial run for me. You know, the thought still circles in my head. A lot.....

We used papers. We used scissors. We used our hands. We used our minds. Oh and glue sticks too! And a marker or two!

We worked together to form a beautiful creation. A reminder. For us. As a family....

To be thankful...

Each of us had our own "THANKS" to contribute...

We worked them all into this.....

This beautiful creation still has plenty of space for more contributions. By family. By friends. It is far from done.

But....it is a start. The basis of our season of THANKS. A constant reminder for us....of all the blessings that HE has given us.

A single basket sits on the counter next to this. Filled with leaves, markers and a glue stick too..... waiting to be written on. More thanks to be given. For HE is good.

What about you....do you have a tree of THANKS at your house? Maybe now is the time to create one....

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;

his love endures forever."

Psalm 106:1 NIV

{ 30 Days of THANKS } Day 14

2010-11-14T19:15:00.004-07:00

Some days I feel so..... IN BETWEEN! Today is one of those days. Not like in between a rock and a hard place. Just IN BETWEEN. Waiting. Some days I feel contentment in this place. Today is not one of those sort of days. I feel quite restless actually. Almost impatient.

Sunday...{ THE SABBATH }....a day for rest. Yet I feel restless. An interesting parrallel really. I mean, if you ask me. Is there something I am missing here about this whole thing? Something I should be doing?

IN BETWEEN.....Somewhere on the road traveling from where I am to where HE wants me to be. A freshly planted garden waiting to be harvested. Some day springing forth with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control.

Until then, in the mean time....I'm in the IN BETWEEN time!

And, during this IN BETWEEN time I know that....

The WILL of God will never take me,
where the grace of God cannot keep me,
Where the arms of God cannot support me,
Where the riches of God cannot supply my needs,
Where the power of God cannot endow me.

The WILL of God will never take me,
Where the Spirit of God cannot work through me,
Where the wisdom of God cannot teach me,
Where the army of God cannot protect me,
Where the hands of God cannot mold me.

The WILL of God will never take me,
Where the love of God cannot enfold me,
Where the mercies of God cannot sustain me,
Where the peace of God cannot calm my fears,
Where the authority of God cannot overrule for me.

The WILL of God will never take me,
Where the comfort of God cannot dry my tears,
Where the Word of God cannot feed me,
Where the miracles of God cannot be done for me,
Where the omnipresence of God cannot find me.

FAITH.....it's my job. During this IN BETWEEN time. FAITH to know....

Everything happens for a purpose.
I may not see the wisdom of it all now
but I need to trust and believe in the Lord that everything is for the best.

And so, while I am in this IN BETWEEN phase.....of waiting for HIS plan for me....
I will....
Be anxious about nothing
and
Prayerful about everything.

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

John 15:4-5 ESV

{ 30 Days of THANKS } Day 12

2010-11-12T19:41:00.000-07:00

It's been a crazy day here. No lie.

Tomorrow might even be more crazy. No actually....it WILL be more crazy! So check that off the list.

Today was one of those days that if it could go wrong....it did. I think Murphy decided to stick around for a while. I didn't invite him....he just showed up. He doesn't come that often. So I am not sure why he picked today for his semi annual visit.

Let me recap my day so far....

I woke up to peek on my princess who slept in her own room last night....I quickly realized why she may have chosen my room over hers all week. NOT a great way to start the day.

Dropped kids off at school. Kept the 3 year old home. NO preschool on Fridays. Some weeks this is a good thing. This week this was NOT a good thing.

While I cleaned the princess' room....he fingerpainted with milk on his window. Oh joy! Uh thanks for the delightful artwork!

Next up was speech. It was successful....for him. He likes Jeff. Jeff likes him. It's a good thing all around. They get along great.....cause Jeff is just like Steve from Blues Clues.....except, I have yet to see him wear a green stripe rugby shirt. Maybe we can get him one for Christmas. Just sayin....

While the three year old entertained Jeff at speech I tried to look at a book I had accidently purchased on my Ipad last week. Except....I couldn't look at it cause it was gone. So, I tried to download it again.

A nice message came up on the screen.....there is an issue with your bank. NICE. That reminded me that there was an issue with the bank last night too. And then that reminded me that I got an email from someone saying they were from the bank. I thought it was spam mail. I ignored it. Last night that is. Today, I went hunting for it. You know, while he was in speech. Found it. Called the bank.

FRAUD! On my debit card. Heart rate goes up about 2 notches. Nothing major. Just enough to break a slight sweat. Possibly enough to make my blood pressure elevate. But only by about 100 points or so.

Apparantly I forgot to notify Chase Bank that in our house we have 7 devices hooked to Itunes. Yeah, they blocked my card for too many charges to Itunes this week. That totaled about 4 charges and less than $20. I think they understand now that they were actually charges made by me. In their defense however, I am thankful they watch out for things like this....you know, in the event that it were to actually be fraud or something.

Moving right along. We left speech.  The three year old informed me we were going to Black Eyed Pea. Not really sure where he got that idea but he was wrong. Oh well.....he will deal right.

So now we set out on the great adventure of the day. In search of a green scrunchie for the princess' hair.....for a skating competition tomorrow. After driving with great intent and pulling into the parking lot of what I thought was Ulta....I looked up to realize I was NOT at Ulta at all. I had however successfully made it to Beauty Brands.

Car in reverse....nice scenic drive around the block. I like to do that sometimes you know. No green scrunchie. Moving on.

Next up Claires. No green scrunchie but some pretty cool eyeshadow kits.....and face glitter. Check out Gymboree. No scrunchie. Check out Children's Place only to realize that Children's fashion really is THAT bad this year. Moving right along...still no green scrunchie! Abandon the thought of the darn scrunchie. There I did it.

McDonalds! Three year old in tow. Drop my phone in the parking lot. It flies under my van. Brilliant I say, just brilliant. Back van up. Get phone. Enter establishment. Three year old entertains older couple. I order cheeseburgers. Hold the pickle on the kid's please.....or he will scream. While I wait for the order to come up the three year old has now invited himself to sit at the table with the older couple whom he has been entertaining. I am so glad he makes friends easily. But really, must we do this at McDonalds. Today??? Yeah so I coax him to a booth of our own....which I might add, is right behind the nice older couple. I think he likes them. I almost asked if they wanted to take him home but I thought that might be a bit forward on my part. So I didn't. They told me how smart he was. I nodded. Admiring the fact that he had now decided to be done with french fries and proceed to put one foot on the table in preparation for a grand dance. I was just hoping he didn't go for the full on moves.

Time to exit the McDonalds. "Mommy....I pooped!" NICE way to round out an afternoon. Did I mention that I left home without the diaper bag? Great thinking on my part. Three year old insists on getting changed....I insist that isn't possible until we get home. So a little fight ensued in the parking lot. You know, as I was trying to get him buckled into his carseat. But, I don't want you to worry.....this was not an "I have poop I don't want buckled fight...." Nope, this was the normal....I am three and I don't want to get buckled fight. Everyday now we have this fight. I love it. It's the highlight of most days. Usually ending with success on my part and a degree of tears on his part.

Ahhh home at last. Still no green scrunchie but remember....we abandoned that idea long ago. Like back before we ever met nice older people at McDonalds. Change diaper. Put three year old down for a nap.

He really has a thing for finger painting on the windows today. I am sure the neighbors are hoping the Clampets will move out soon. Oh well....lucky for them...he is pretty good at his art work cause we aren't going anywhere. Just yet!

Did I mention that while he was finger painting this time that I got my room cleaned up. THAT in and of itself was a measure of success. Finally, a win today!

Got in the car to pick up my older kids from school. Once there I realized that I NEVER pick them up at the end of the day! I always pick them up early. Cause the princess has skating.....so there I stood. It's November right? They have been doing this since August or so. Anyway, you look pretty stupid as a mother in November having NO clue where your children come out of the building at the end of the day. Good thing I have friends who watch out for me.....even if they do laugh. I finally found my children. It only took about 20 minutes. Hey, it's a large student body!

The princess made a bee line for her room.  She was NOT happy. She started screaming at me. Somehow I think she didn't believe me when I said I was going to clean it today. Meanwhile, the three year old is back to finger painting. On the window of course. The eleven year old is out of control.....in a hyper sort of way.

Finally both rooms are clean and they head outside to play. Ahhh peace and quiet. Then they are back in here....to inform me that the three year old is finger painting on the window with his milk. Like I didn't already know that! Hello.....he thinks he is Michael Angelo....some day I hope he makes money with his artwork. I mean with all of his practice today it should bring a good wage.

Did I mention that my husband was at risk of not making it home today. They lost his driver's license. Something about planes and buildings and bad guys....makes this picture ID a necessity at the airport these days.

Thankfully, someone was looking with kindness upon him. And....they found it. But not before I had a minor panic attack about that. I stress the word MINOR!

So here it is....7:15 pm and my house is quiet. The three year old has more milk in his room where he is suppose to be sleeping. I think the entire window has been decorated at this point so that should eliminate his need to do anything further with his artwork. Afterall, he had all day to perfect it in the daylight.

Did I mention it is quiet here? Bout time.....

Oh....and my husband. He threatened to turn around and go back to the airport when he heard all of the screaming here tonight. I threatened to KILL him if he went without me. But, don't get confused....this was kids playing screaming. As opposed to mom's about to jump off a cliff screaming. I had nothing to do with the entire ordeal.

Heck at this point of the night......all I could do was laugh. I mean, who wouldn't.   Right?

And I am going to eat Cocoa Krispies for dinner here sometime. And enjoy the fact that my bedroom is clean and all the laundry is put away and that Michael Angelo lives with me. And that the princess has clean hair. And that the eleven year old will not be hyper while he is sleeping. And if he is....I don't have to sleep with him so it's ok.

So what was different about today......why did all this happen today? I can only speculate on one thing.

I didn't take the time this morning to sit down with my God. To tell HIM that I had a lot to do and I needed his help. To let HIM in on the deal. HE had no idea about green scrunchies....well HE did, but maybe not in the way I did.

Next time I have a day like this.....one where I have a lot to get done in a short amount of time....you can be guaranteed I'm calling HIM up first. No short cuts again. It just doesn't work for me.

I am thankful today however that my husband will be walking through the door any minute now. That we get to spend the weekend together. That my princess will be skating in her first ever competition tomorrow. That the eleven year old loves her so much he is so excited to cheer her on. Even without a green scrunchie.....how cool is that? And that I have a babysitter for Michael Angelo.....for the entire day! I hope she likes to do artwork....

And most of all....I am thankful for the reminder that HE left for me. A simple note....that read..."Tomorrow I will be taking care of all of your worries. No need to try and help. I have it covered."

"Be still and know that I am God"

Psalm 46:10

{ 30 Days of THANKS) Day 11

2010-11-11T21:05:00.002-07:00

We had just exited. Waiting at a red light. She was following me. A long line of traffic trailed behind.

There he stood. On the corner. His usual spot. Probably a weekly thing. Maybe even daily. His sign said "Disabled Veteran....any help will do! Thank you and God Bless"

I couldn't help but take notice of his tattered clothing. His bare hands. Feet that were covered by ratted worn out shoes. Most likely from walking a lot. An old ragged ski cap covered his head.

The thermometer read 27 degrees. Bitter cold. Frigid.

I could see her in my rear view mirror. Fumbling around. Reaching in her purse. I glanced ahead to see the light turn green. Slowly I stepped on the gas....edging forward through the intersection.

We pulled into the parking lot. It was crowded. I could see she was bothered by the look on her face. We started to walk. She tugged on my jacket.

"Did you see him?" She asked me quietly

"I did." was my reply.

"The man behind me was in a big hurry. I wanted to give him what I had. Here I am in my car....with heated seats. Going for lunch when my stomach already feels satisfied. I get to go home to my warm house." She continued on.

Obviously troubled by what had just happened, we kept walking. Towards our destination.

Feeling incredibly guilty, she tried to make sense of the whole thing.

Glancing down at her feet while she walked.....her guilt continued to grow. Her heart is so good. A true follower of Christ. In all her ways. I could tell this was weighing heavy on her.

I could see him coming towards us. Not sure of his intentions I was a bit apprehensive as he approached.

His eye was bloodied. An obvious injury from some type of blow. A thin jacket covered his back. He carried a small bag. Presumably holding his belongings.

I glanced at her as he approached. Still apprehensive I observed as he began to talk.

"Ma'am do you have eighty cents to spare? I don't have enough for the light rail fare."

She looked up at him in amazement. Reached into her purse and handed him a twenty dollar bill.

His eyes lit up. You could tell she had made his day. He only hoped for eighty cents. Now he could buy a warm meal too.

As he walked off they bid each other a good day.

Her work was complete. His day was complete.

I have watched her in this very situation many times before. Each time she gives.....without regard. Opens her heart to complete strangers. At first I was taken back by it. I think I even called her a sucker. But, the more I have seen her perform this random act of kindness, the more I admire her.

I admire her because she truly has a heart like Christ.

I asked her once...."How can you be sure they are legitimate?" "How do you know they are not just yanking your chain?"

Her answer was simple really....."It isn't for me to judge."

Followed by....

"Could you imagine if HE judged us?"

End of that conversation. Be still my wandering soul. Silenced by the truth.

Isn't this what our society has trained us to do? To stand in judgement of others. It is sad really. We all fall prey. Even the best of the Christians among us.

But, for me.....I have that one friend.....Who may be the only Christ to one person in a day. A walking testimony of HIS love for us. A role model.

I saw our God in action today. Right there in the parking lot. In the cold. One man. One woman. Less than a minute. Eighty Cents!

AMAZING!

And so today...I am THANKFUL for that man on the corner. The one whose sign said "Disabled Veteran. Any help will do. God Bless!" He gave his time so that I might have freedom. And, for that chance meeting with a complete stranger in a parking lot. For eighty cents and a lifelong lesson learned.

What about you.....will you stop next time you see him on the corner?

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, Let me take the speck out of your eye, when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. "

Matthew 7:1-8

{ 30 Days of THANKS } Day 10

2010-11-10T10:18:00.000-07:00

Once a year I really do like to wake up and look ouside to see a beautiful blanket of fresh snow. Glistening brightly like crystals dancing in the sunlight. Each snowflake as unique as you and I.

Today was that once a year day. FRESH. PURE. WHITE. SNOW.

As I stumbled out of bed....quite literally I might add (over an 11 year old who was sleeping on the floor)... I made my way to the hall. Looking over the railing I realized the mess that had been made. Remnants of a day gone by. HOT WHEELS. TONKA TRUCKS. BOOKS. CRAYONS. TOYS GALORE. A BIG MESS. Silent reminders that daddy is gone this week and mommy is only one person.

I was tired last night. I went to bed.

The whole scene made me a bit grumpy really. You see, one of my biggest pet peeves is waking up to a mess. And, there it was. BOLD and in my face....

I glanced at the mess and glanced outside. TOYS EVERYWHERE. White SNOW. HUGE MESS. Pure White SNOW.

Then it hit me. That snow outside my window was no coincidence today. It was HIS plan. HIS plan to gently remind me of HIS position in my life.

In the first chapter of the book of Isaiah, verse 18, we are reminded that "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like WOOL."

A blanket of fresh white snow covering a barren land filled only with dead grass and leaves before. God's GRACE set before us in vibrant color. A gift. Simply waiting to be opened.

I glanced back at that mess in my family room. Suddenly it didn't matter. Snow. A gentle nudge from my father. A reminder that my perfection is not necessary for his GRACE. God's Riches At Christ's Expense. His forgiveness mine.....simply for asking.

How cool is it that I...(with all of my imperfections and idiosyncracies) get to live a perfect life as the daughter of the KING?! There is nothing more perfect than HIS unconditional love for me.

So today I am thankful for HIS GRACE. Thankful that on days when I see the mess around me...HE is standing there with open arms....gently reminding me that it's ok. That HE has made me white as snow.

So VERY THANKFUL to be a Child of God....to live in HIS kindgom and be a part of HIS story! A part of HIS grand plan!

{ 30 Days of THANKS } Day 9

2010-11-09T14:06:00.000-07:00

I have a lot to be thankful for today. Thirty nine years of THANKFUL to be exact. Thirty nine wonderful years filled with blessings too abundant to count.

I know a lot of people at this point in my life. But, among those, there is no one who knows me better than the two who brought me into this world. My mom and dad.

Growing up I was the youngest of three. And....the only GIRL! I guess you could say I was kind of spoiled. But, only a little bit.

I have such fond memories of my childhood. My parents gave me so many opportunities as a child. Opportunities to learn. Opportunities to grow. Opportunities to laugh. Opportunities to cry. But, through it all...there never was a day that I ever questioned their unfailing love for me. They were always there for me and remain this way even today.

They laid the foundation really for who I am today. They planted my roots deep in faith. Starting with my baptism three weeks after I was born. They took me to church weekly and enrolled me in Lutheran school. Christ was the center of our home. They watched me as I learned Bible verses at a young age. Able to recite them by memory at your request. They stood by me as I studied Luther's Small Chatechism in preparation for my confirmation. They were there for my communion as well.

These parents of mine, they never missed a school party or play. Not one single concert or performance. They were at every single soccer, baseball, softball and volleyball game. They never missed a piano recital, flute or voice lesson either. They were there for homecoming and prom too. You see, they were there for it all. For me. Their little girl.

I remember my dad trying to teach me how to drive while my mom insisted on wearing a crash helmet in the back seat. Fun memories of him always saying "E" on the gas gauge merely meant "enough" and there was no need to worry if I saw it. I tried his theory of "enough" just one time. Thank goodness he was available to bail me out!

The countless hours spent shopping with my mom as a child. Trying on clothes in dressing rooms getting stuff stuck on our heads. Laughing so hard we nearly fell to the floor out of control. Trips to Cub Foods at midnight when dad was out of town.....simply to cure a craving! Taco Tuesdays at Del Taco and always church on Wednesday nights.

Weekends when dad would put us all in the car to go for a drive. It seemed awful to me at the time but oh the beauty he showed me on those drives. The oceans. The mountains. The plains too. They have shown it all to me. By the age of 12 I was confidently able to say that I had visited 38 of our 50 United States. With countless more monuments and historical sites along the way. Entering the United States from Canada as my father informed me he did not have my birth certificate as proof of citizenship. I would therefore have to ......JUMP and RUN. Hoping they did not catch me! I think I cried for days over this one.

The day my daddy walked me down the aisle as my mom looked on. With tears in his eyes he gave me away. To the man of my dreams. I will always cherish the dance we shared that night at my reception. The dance I got to share with no one but my daddy!

They were there for the birth of every child. Every baptism too. They miss no school programs. No games or performances. You see, now they are there for my kids. Just the same way they have always been there for me.

And,even though we sometimes disagree, I can always count on one thing....their never failing love for me!

And so today, on my 39th birthday, I want to say THANK YOU to the two people who gave me everything. Thank you for all that you are and all that you have ever done for me. Thank you for sticking by me through thick and thin. Thank you for the endless opportunities that you gave me which molded me into the person I am today. For your love and words of encouragement along the way. I am so blessed that God chose me for you and you for me.

I love you both more than words will ever be able to express. You will ALWAYS be my mommy and my daddy.....above all else! And, I know you will always be there for me.....just like you always have been!

{ 30 Days of THANKS } Day 8

2010-11-08T15:01:00.001-07:00

In the past I have always struggled with finding balance during the times when Colin travels. We don't have crazy schedules but we do have consistent committments daily. And, to make it all happen requires both of us to be on our game. We call it divide and conquor. It's what works for us. But, it is kind of hard to divide and conquor when there is just one of you. Suddenly, an easy week looks very overwhelming.

So yesterday after he left, I decided I would go to church. I stopped by the store on the way home because Old Mother Hubbard's cupboards were bare. I picked up stuff for both lunch and dinner. Already I was ahead of the game. I wasn't feeding them tv dinners so that was a bonus.

I came home to three smiling children with very hungry tummys. So, I quickly plopped the perfect lunch in the oven. Chicken strips and tator tots. Hey, it's a staple food around here. Soon I had three happily fed, smiling children eager to run outside and play.

My dream come true really. Perfect weather on a Sunday afternoon when Colin is gone = a perfect outside opportunity for the kids and a perfect opportunity for mamma bear to dive into her Bible Study. Ahhhhh the peace and quiet of study time!

I heard the front door slam. Followed by the scampering footsteps of the middle child. "He propositioned me!" she quickly exclaimed at the top of her lungs. Certain that she hadn't a clue what she had just said, I asked her what on earth she was talking about.

"Rod (our neighbor) told me if we help him to clean up his yard he will take us to a movie this afternoon!" "

"I'm going to help mom, OK?"

"My job is to rake leaves!"

"Thanks mom!"

And in a flash she was gone. Off to rake leaves. Now I have to admit that a part of me wanted to assume a position on the front porch to personally witness these great acts of kindness my child was putting forth. I was quite certain she had never seen a rake before much less ever used one. I however, abstained. Maintaining my space at the kitchen table. Consumed in my own little world. My Beth Moore world. My Bible study world.

Some time passed and she returned to inform me that the task had indeed been completed. This was her way of prompting me to seek out details of a promised movie. I reluctantly pulled myself away from the table to walk next door. Still somewhat in disbelief of the entire situation. The yard, by the way.....looked pretty darn good. Impressive if I might say so myself.

As I stood there in their living room engaging in conversation regarding movie choice, my child (yes, the wonderful middle child, the PRINCESS) proceeded to throw a full on fit regarding the movie that had been chosen. Let me just say.....this was NOT a little grumble! This was a full on crying, manipulating, selfish fit. A fit which then prompted a further discussion on the neighbor's part about how to accomodate my child's desire to see another movie.

Have you ever been in a situation where you are so incredibly embarrassed by the actions of your child and you simply cannot get out fast enough?

GUILTY!

Instilling an Attitude of Gratitude...that's what we are talking about here. In your kids. In yourself.

How do you do it? How do we teach them that it truly is far better to give than to receive? How do we teach them that they need to be thankful in these sorts of situations? How do I teach her....that it's not all about her? It's a hard concept for adults so why should I ever expect my child to fully grasp it? Yet, I do expect it.

Apparantly I have failed in this department. That was clearly evident yesterday. Further evidenced by the fact that "the EYE" and a bop on the head only made her perseverate further on getting her own way.

In my embarrassment we excused ourselves to come home. You know, so that I could instill in this child that 1. she just thoroughly embarrassed me and 2. how she was acting was completely, 100% ungrateful, selfish, "all about me" behavior. When the moment arose that I informed her she could stay home she quickly decided that maybe the movie choice would be ok. And they were off on their merry way.

Upon their arrival home I inquired of the oldest child how his sister had conducted herself in my absence. I sat there patient. Almost afraid of what he was going to say. And, with good reason. He quickly informed me that she did great......ahhhhh yay!!! Until....she told the neighbor "next week I will shovel your snow for you and you can take me to the movie that I WANT to see!"

FANTASTIC. JUST FANTASTIC!

So today I am sitting here pondering my parenting. Wondering where the heck we went wrong and what exactly it is that we need to do to rectify this situation. Praying that my neighbors really can see beyond my selfish child. OR....that FOR SALE sign might be necessary before we are really prepared.

As Christians we are called to give abundantly. For when we do we will reap abundantly as well. God loves a cheerful giver. I heard it said recently that we should not leave this world with anything clutched in our hands.....that God intended for us to give away. A deep thought really. With great value for all of us. Yes, it is true.....I would rather give than to receive. For in giving....I have been so very well blessed! And the blessings just keep coming....too many to number.

Now, my job is to teach this to my children. A challenge for me....as evidenced by our Sunday afternoon. But, through prayer I do believe I will be able to accomplish the task that has been set before me. It may take some time.....but, if you train a child up in the way they should go...when they are older, they will not turn from it. And so, the time for training is now.

"The point is this...whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiencey in all thinghs at all times, you may abound in every good work."

2 Corinthians 9:6-8 ESV

{ 30 Days of THANKS } Day 7

2010-11-07T13:49:00.001-07:00

I watched him as he gathered his belongings. Five shirts. Five pairs of pants. Five pairs of socks. Underwear (probably more than five pairs. He likes to be covered in that department. If you know what I mean). Neatly he placed them all in his bag.

He left early this morning on a mission of sorts. To deploy the largest project of his career. A challenge that was set before him some eight months ago. He was hand picked for this job.

He was nervous. I could tell. We've been together long enough that stuff like this is not easily hidden from plain view anymore. As I kissed him good bye, bidding farewell to him for what could be weeks, I couldn't help but to be proud of him for a moment.

My husband is the oldest of two boys. Having grown up in an emotionally and somewhat physically abusive home, he has always struggled with the issue of self worth. As a child he was always reminded of just how "stupid" he was. A scar that will forever remain engraved on his heart.

We all search at one time or another for our own purpose in this life. You know, the nuts and bolts of how and why.

Over the course of the past several months I have watched my husband struggle with his career. A very talented man, working at the mercy of an abusive boss. A perfect replica of his once abusive father. Buried scars brought to the surface by hateful and mean words and actions.

Have you ever taken a moment to really think about how our God works? To draw us closer to him. To reassure us of his never failing presence in our lives. Even when we are hurting and we feel like we want to throw in the towel. To let it all go. To free ourselves from the anguish and the heart ache.

Back at the beginning of summer we were faced with a marital crisis of sorts. A crisis which brought forth pain and anger. Drudging up memories of horrible times from long ago. Times we would rather never have to remember let alone face again.

But, this time was different really. An eye opener. An opportunity for us to embrace the journey we had been set on. An opportunity for growth. As individuals. As a couple. As a family.

At this time, my husband made a choice to seek out and join a Christian men's group. A big step for him. HUGE. He has faithfully attended this group twice a month now for several months.

Throughout the 23 years we have been together I have always known that he knew God in his head. Growing up we had vastly different church experiences. I was always at the church for one reason or another. It was my home away from home. He, on the other hand would have been one of those C & E Christians we talked about every year around Christmas and Easter.

Recently, I have been able to watch this man reach out to God with his heart. And, in doing so.....reach out to me with a heart like Christ. Placing Christ at the center of his life. And, at the center of our life. Beginning each morning in steadfast prayer. Asking the Lord to guide him. To grant him wisdom. To soften the heart of a boss consumed with anger.

Yes, it's true.....God has been at work in our lives. The transformation in my husband, that I have watched unfold before my eyes, is amazing. A heart transformed by a God who promises grace and mercies which are new every day. A heart so touched by a God who will never let us go....even when we let go of our end of the rope.

And so today, as I watched him leave for the biggest event of all of his career, I collapsed into a chair. Only to cry tears of joy. Tears of THANKS to our God who has begun a great work in this husband of mine. Tears filled with praise for answered prayers. For steadfast, unconditional love that only a father like our Heavenly Father could show.

Today is the first day of the rest of his life. And, I am confident with an awesome God like ours at his side...guiding his journey, that he is going to set this world on fire. And, I cannot wait to feel the heat of those flames in his warm embrace when he returns home to us.

But until then, God speed my love, your journey has just begun. Take those wings and fly. Soar with the eagles. Never losing sight of what lies ahead. Embracing all that our God has planned for you. Go set this world afire! By HIS grace!

So this week, if you wouldn't mind....please keep our family in your prayers. Prayers for my husband as he takes a leap of faith.....deploying this huge project. Prayers for us here at home. For peace and contentment. That we may rest comfortably in HIS arms knowing that HE and only HE is in control.

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

Philippians 1:6 ESV

{ 30 Days of THANKS } Day 5

2010-11-05T15:35:00.000-06:00

Life is not measured by the number of breaths that we take...

But, by the moments that take our breath away!

Today Lord....I THANK you for giving me EYES to see! Your beauty, glory and splendor which are all around me. Great and mighty are your ways!

"I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people."

Ephesians 1:18 NIV

{ 30 Days of THANKS } Day 4

2010-11-04T17:04:00.000-06:00

Have you ever had a time in your life where you have said to yourself..."how lucky am I?"

I HAVE!

Recently too...

But, the whole statement makes me wonder something...

Is it luck? OR Am I blessed?

You see, being lucky somehow implies that it may have happened by chance. Whereas being blessed implies a definate plan. One that was in place long before I knew it. All long....a plan in place.

Thursday has become one of my most favorite days of the week. The day I get to spend with my best friend. The day I get to get down and dirty with God and HIS word for our lives. The day I get to dig deeper. To find more meaning. The day I get to be just me....JUANITA, child of God.

Now, don't get me wrong...I love my role as wife and mother. But, I delight in the ability to set those full time jobs aside for just a few hours a week. To be myself. And, nothing more.

We always begin our Thursdays with Bible Study at St. Panera. Affectionately named such for various reasons. Bible Study over an orange scone and coffee is God's way of showing me a little piece of heaven on earth. Cheesy. I know. It's the little things. That bring me joy. PURE JOY!

Each week after our study we always choose an activity. Sometimes we go shopping. Craft stores. Christian book stores. You know....girl stuff! Other times we take it to the porch. Her porch. Front. Center. And, there we talk. Girl talk. It's good for the soul.

We've done a lot of talking lately about blogging. Today was one of those days. Brainstorming. Sharing. Encouraging. Growing together.

So today, on my drive home, I asked myself...."Am I lucky? OR Am I blessed?" It seems like a simple question to answer. But for me, it requires a bit of reflection (I'm like that you know....it all has to make sense. To me.)

God has placed in my life someone whom I would consider a soul mate. To share both good and bad. To laugh with. To cry with. But, more than that, HE has given me the opportunity to watch someone grow in their walk with HIM. Someone to lead by example.

And for this...I am NOT lucky. I am BLESSED! For you see, blessings are planned. They come with INTENTION. There is no coincidence here. Not one single ounce.

As I watch this friend of mine grow in her faith through her own blogging experience....I can only look to my heavenly Father and say thanks for providing this for me.

For the opportunity to write and share HiS message with all of you. To now be able to mentor a friend as she begins her journey. Her blogging journey. To be an inspiration and to be inspired. Thank you God for BLESSING me in this way. For I know, in your world....I may not always understand the hows or whys. But, I can always be assured of one thing....YOU make no mistakes! And for that I am so very THANKFUL and BLESSED. Abundantly BLESSED!

What about you.....Do you consider yourself lucky? OR Are you BLESSED?
Hop on over to the community and give us your thoughts.....

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."

James 1:17 NIV

{ 30 Days of THANKS } Day 3

2010-11-03T14:32:00.001-06:00

Ok so.....I have a confession to make. Is that ok? Good, cause I was going to do it anyway. I need to get this off my chest....

I absolutely LOVE this time of year. There I said it! Done. Confession over.

I don't just love it a little bit.....I adore it. Like I only wish that it would last all year long. This feeling I get every year. At just this time.

My family has a rule for me. They strictly adhere to it. They say I make them crazy. I simply don't get it. But oh well....I can play by their rules....WHEN they are present! The rule is simple....No CHRISTMAS music until after the 1st of November! Geez....I tell ya, what fun is that? Thank goodness, for my addiction sake....that they are all gone 5 days a week!

You see, for me....this is where it all started. Right?

Shepherds and wise guys and a few angels too.....running to a stable to behold the birth of a SAVIOR. Can you imagine what it must have been like for them? To gather round that manger with Mary and Joseph. To follow that star in the East. The one that lit their way. To stand in AWE of his miraculous birth!

This time of year is a gentle reminder for me....of all that I have and all that I am. The music is just one piece of that. And it's true....I cannot get enough of it. The reason for that is simple really. It screams JOY.

My husband asked me for my Christmas list the other day. It was strange really. I had no answer for him. Not one single thing came to mind. And things that I had once thought of....they were distant memories too.

I have found myself at a cross roads lately. Perhaps you have been there. The one where your walk with God becomes so intense that it consumes your entire being. That's me.

And so, in thinking about that list. I quietly looked at him and smiled. I don't think he was amused. I am fairly certain he believed that smile was screaming big bucks.

Here's the deal....this year, for the first time ever....I can honestly say...I WANT FOR NOTHING. Reality. I have all that I need. I have a wonderful family. I have great friends. I have my faith. The perfect trifecta if you ask me. Nothing else is required.

I have found JOY in the simple every day things. Things which we typically take for granted. You know...the chocolate covered face of your 3 year old, the sun shining brightly in your bedroom window before the alarm ever goes off, the friend who gives you a card just because they can, the school secretary that smiles at you every day as you pick up your kids, the puppies on the back porch scratching at the window, the Big Mac you ate for lunch....remembering your childhood years, hanging out at the zoo with friends, eating popcorn at the ice rink, peeing your pants because you laughed entirely too hard......

YES my friends, there is joy in the everyday. You just have to be aware of it. And, once you find it.....beware, IT will ROCK your world.

And a JOY like this can come from none other than God himself. Because God is good. And....God is enough.

So for today....I am THANKFUL because.....

I've got a JOY JOY JOY JOY down in my heart
where?
Down in my heart...
where?
Down in my heart....
I've got a JOY JOY JOY JOY down in my heart
down in my heart to stay.

What about you? What are you THANKFUL for today? Hop on over to the community and give us your thoughts....

And, if you are ever in the mood for Christmas music....you know where to find me!